Thursday, May 24, 2012

Oh, hello.

Let's give this a try.

Anyone remember me?  It's Teri!  Teri Brown!  Ring a bell?

I don't blame you if your answer is no.  Looks like I took that last post a little bit too literally, huh?

It's not that I've been completely ignoring the internet--far from it--it's just that I've lost the will to blog.  Do you ever feel like that?  I sit down to write a post, and nothing really interesting comes out.  It happens.

So, here's what's been going on:

1.  Stuff I can't talk about.  Not yet, and maybe not ever.  Top-secret stuff.  I can tell you that (a) I am not pregnant and (b) it probably won't excite you all very much.  However, this top-secret stuff is consuming my life right now, so it's been hard to write about anything that doesn't involve the things which I'm not allowed to divulge.  Which is one reason I've been M.I.A.

2.  I've been sick.  I'm not dying or anything (at least not any quicker than anyone else), but six days ago, I came down with a mystery ailment that caused a chain reaction of other illnesses, so now I'm taking about 11 pills a day.  My mom joked that my warranty had run out, and that's exactly how I feel.

The whole thing began immediately following a hot fudge sundae from McDonald's.  My lips began to swell and tingle, then the next morning, I woke up with my left eye swollen shut.  Throughout the next few days, the swelling/rash spread down the side of my face and onto my ear lobe until I went in to the doctor on Monday to get a cortisone shot.  I thought that worked, until Tuesday afternoon, when the skin around my eye turned bright red.  It was fading yesterday, when I took these photos:


Not a victim of domestic violence.  Just McDonald's food.
So, now I'm on steroids and instead of a swollen eye, I've got swollen extremities from water retention.  My lips are still kind of big, but not so big that I look like a Real Housewife, so I'm cool with it.  The doctor's office called today and said that my blood work showed zero food allergies, but this is the same office that told me I don't have seasonal allergies either, and if I don't take a zyrtec and flonase every day, my nose turns into a faucet...so I took that news with a grain of salt.

Anyway, I'm feeling better now.  I guess I'll have to start going to the gym again now that I have no excuse to keep me home.  Which leads me to....

3.  I've gained SIX FREAKIN' POUNDS since re-joining the gym.  What the hell???  I wasn't trying to lose weight or anything, but I didn't want to gain either.  I don't get it!  I'm not lifting heavy weights.  I'm doing a ton of cardio.  It's a mystery.  I have a suspicion that the water in the fountains there is spiked with weight-gain supplements to keep people from canceling their contracts, but I have no proof.  I'm bringing in a full water bottle with from here out, just in case though.  Just sayin'.

4. I've been writing songs again.  Kids' songs!  The Kid has discovered my talent, so he's been asking me to write songs about specific things.  The other day, my dress was blowing up in the wind and he thought it was funny, so in order to explain that it was inappropriate, I made up a song for him called "Never Show Your Underpants To Strangers".  It has three verses, and I'm pretty sure it'd win a Grammy if they had an unrecorded/no backing music children's song category.  Do they?  I need to look into that.

Here's the first verse, for those of you who are curious:

Never show your underpants to strangers
That is something you should never do
You can show them your sweater
Or even your new hat
But your underwear is only meant for you

 5.  I've been writing other things too!  Just not blog posts, clearly.  Sorry 'bout that.  I began a screenplay based on the first year of my relationship with The Hubby.  I'm thinking of switching gears and turning it into a novel instead, or maybe doing both, but I haven't quite decided yet.  If you don't know how he and I met and you like romantic things, here's the blog post in which I told the story.


So, that's what's been going on with me.  I think I'm done with Search Term Thursdays, at least until Spartacus goes on hiatus or gets canceled.  It's way too hard to sift through all my Spartacus terms to get to the good ones.  

Now, I'll go look at all of your blogs to see what you've been up to.  If you've disappeared the way I did, then comment and let me know you're not dead.  Thanks for checking in!  :)
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