Monday, April 2, 2012


I was listening to Spotify tonight and came across a song that reminded me of my first crush.  As soon as I heard the first few notes, all the feelings came rushing back--He's perfect!  I love him!  He doesn't even know I'm alive!--I was ten.  

It got me to thinking about love.  What is love?  (baby, don't hurt me)

I asked people to share their thoughts about love on Twitter and got an overwhelming response (okay, four tweets):


So, to some people, love = (possibly poisonous) pancakes.  Interesting.

Is love pancakes?  Is it awesome and agonizing?  Is it manufactured?  Is love never having to say you're sorry?  Is love a many splendored thing?  Is love, actually, all around?

I think it can be all those things, and more.  

When I was a kid, I looked at love as this big mysterious thing.  I was positive that it couldn't be defined; that I'd know it when I felt it.  I think that I did know it when I felt it, but I also think that there's more than one type of love.

As I see it, there are four basic types of love: crushing, romantic, familial, and that for inanimate objects.*  Some of them can overlap, and it's kind of confusing, so I made love into a venn diagram:

Click on it if you feel like you MUST see the right-hand side of that circle.

Of course, this diagram makes it look like I have love all figured out, which is not the case at all.  It's still mysterious.  I do, however, feel reassured in knowing that love can overlap and evolve into other types. 

For example, two people fall into a crushing love.  The relationship evolves into a romantic love, and they get married.  Down the road, the love becomes more familial.  While the romantic love remains, the crushing love is gone, leaving the two to wonder--are we still in love?  My answer is yes, yes you are.

A lot of people think that if you don't want to jump your partner's bones every second of the day, it means you aren't in love anymore.  Not true, I say.  I think that you've just evolved.

Now, if you NEVER want to jump each others' bones, you may want to get some relationship counseling, but nobody can keep up the momentum that comes with the crushing love in the beginning of a relationship.  Who would want to, anyway?  That sh*t is exhausting.

Why does the word "love" freak people out so much?  Telling someone that you love them can mean so many different things.  Love is a puppy licking your face--it's an unsolicited hug from a toddler--it's butterflies in your stomach--it's a  perfect spring day--it's a smile that you can't wipe off your face.  More than anything, love is pure joy.  Who wouldn't welcome more of that into their lives?

Then again, I could be completely wrong about all of this.   What do you guys think?  How do you define love?

*I'm not an expert or anything--far from it--but I do feel like I've got a lot of love in my life. 
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