Tuesday, January 17, 2012

A Real Mother?

"Act like a real mudder," The Kid says to me.

A real mother?  What's that supposed to mean??  Do I not act like a real mother?  Thanks a lot, Kid!  Geez.

I asked him to elaborate, and he just made a fart noise.  Great.  Boys are so wonderful.

He got me to thinking.  Maybe I don't act like a real mother--at least not like the ones he sees on TV. 

-I don't spend my days picking up after him or dusting the house.  I mean, I clean every so often, but I'm not an immaculate housekeeper by any stretch of the imagination. 

-I do bake sometimes, but usually that's just because I have a hankering for chocolate chip cookies, or because I have to bake the bananas into bread since I let them get old and black. 

-You're more likely to find me sitting in front of my computer writing than driving a carpool of kids to soccer practice.

-I cook dinner maybe once or twice a week, but usually we just eat whatever we can scrounge up.  It's easier that way, and cheaper. 

-He generally runs out of socks before I get around to doing the laundry...and then it will sit in the basket for a few days before I fold it and put it away, inevitably quite wrinkly. 

I did, however, grow The Kid from a speck to an 8+ pound baby who I eventually had to push out of my body.  I give him about a hundred hugs and kisses every day.  I taught him a song to teach him how to spell his name.  I let him win a few battles.  I play video games and board games with him.  I take him to the fancy cheese store to sample cheeses whenever he asks (he asks often--he's kind of a weird kid).  I let him eat dessert, but not so much that his teeth will fall out or that he'll bounce off the walls.  I tell him that I love him constantly.  Constantly.

So, yeah, maybe I'm not June Cleaver (not that The Kid would even know who that is), but I'd say I'm doing a decent job.  He's a great kid, which must mean that I'm doing something right. 

Next time he tells me to act like a real mother, I think I'll spit on a napkin and clean his face with it.  That'll teach him.

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