As usual, I washed my face and applied some makeup. When I was done, I looked in the mirror and thought to myself, wow, makeup is freakin' awesome. Do I feel like I'm pulling one over on everyone who looks at me? Yeah, sorta. But you know what? I'm okay with that.
I took to Twitter to proclaim my love of manufactured beauty, and this is the conversation that ensued:
Look, I'm not a falsely modest person. One of my favorite sayings is "I'm really smart. People always forget because I'm so pretty." Yes, I'm joking, but I know that I am considered by many to be attractive. I can say this now because I went through a really awkward phase during my formative years, so I know the difference.
Due to said awkward phase, I am acutely aware of the times when I look good and the times when I look terrible. It's a pretty big spread, to be honest. I can go from a 3 to an 8 with the right tools at my disposal. Do I need to illustrate? Fine. I can't believe I'm doing this.
![]() |
| This file is huge. Click on it if you want to zoom in on my pores. I have no dignity left anyway. |
Spare me your comments saying "You look great without makeup!". I do have on moisturizer in that top picture, and it made me less red than I normally would have been. The flash helped too. In fact, that's a pretty great picture--I don't usually look half that good without makeup on.
I'm not fishing for compliments here; I'm just trying to illustrate a point: makeup is freakin' magic. I love it, and I will continue to wear it and fool people into thinking I'm at least 40% better looking than I actually am. Well, except for all of you guys--you've been behind the curtain now, so I can't fool any of you. Let's keep this between us, okay? And don't ever try to tell me that I don't need makeup, because now you know better.




