Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Magical Makeup

This morning, I woke up looking pretty horrible.  Nothing new.  If you are one of those people who roll out of bed looking gorgeous, well more power to ya, but I am not your peer. 

As usual, I washed my face and applied some makeup.  When I was done, I looked in the mirror and thought to myself, wow, makeup is freakin' awesome.  Do I feel like I'm pulling one over on everyone who looks at me?  Yeah, sorta.  But you know what?  I'm okay with that. 

I took to Twitter to proclaim my love of manufactured beauty, and this is the conversation that ensued:

Look, I'm not a falsely modest person.  One of my favorite sayings is "I'm really smart.  People always forget because I'm so pretty."  Yes, I'm joking, but I know that I am considered by many to be attractive.  I can say this now because I went through a really awkward phase during my formative years, so I know the difference.

Due to said awkward phase, I am acutely aware of the times when I look good and the times when I look terrible.  It's a pretty big spread, to be honest.  I can go from a 3 to an 8 with the right tools at my disposal.  Do I need to illustrate?  Fine.  I can't believe I'm doing this.

This file is huge.  Click on it if you want to zoom in on my pores.  I have no dignity left anyway.

Spare me your comments saying "You look great without makeup!".  I do have on moisturizer in that top picture, and it made me less red than I normally would have been.  The flash helped too.  In fact, that's a pretty great picture--I don't usually look half that good without makeup on.

I'm not fishing for compliments here; I'm just trying to illustrate a point:  makeup is freakin' magic.  I love it, and I will continue to wear it and fool people into thinking I'm at least 40% better looking than I actually am.  Well, except for all of you guys--you've been behind the curtain now, so I can't fool any of you.  Let's keep this between us, okay?  And don't ever try to tell me that I don't need makeup, because now you know better.
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