Friday, December 9, 2011

Can't we just be friends?

Can men and women be friends, just friends?

It's the age-old question.  Movies have been based upon it.  People argue about it.  After religion and politics, it's one of those topics you never want to bring up at a dinner party.

This is not a dinner party, it's a blog.  Let's talk about it.

Earlier this evening, The Hubby found this video and posted it on Facebook:


If you don't have the patience to watch it, I'll sum it up:  the women say yes, men and women can be friends, and the men say no.  When pressed, the women admit that all of their male friends would, given the opportunity, still sleep with them.  The filmmakers take this to mean that these women just proved themselves wrong, and that men and women can't be friends.

Boom!  Question answered.

Not so fast, I say.

This is something that The Hubby has very strong views on.  Basically, he agrees with Harry Burns:


My view is a little different. 

I think that men and women can be friends.  Sure, maybe the guy wants to sleep with the girl (also--NEWSFLASH!--the girl may want to sleep with the guy), but just because there's sexual tension there doesn't mean that they can't have a platonic relationship.  Even if that friendship does evolve into something more somewhere down the line, does that mean that it was never a real friendship just because there was a physical attraction on one or both sides?

I think it all depends on how you look at it.  The reason The Hubby says no is because he thinks that the attraction nulls the friendship.  I think that the attraction is unimportant if nobody is acting on it. 

Look at the movie Just Friends.  Jamie and Chris were best friends all through high school.  Even though he had a massive crush on her, they still spent all their time together, had inside jokes, and shared (most of) their secrets.  That's friendship.  Sex doesn't have to get in the way...does it?

Maybe that's a bad example since they get together in the end of that movie.  Or maybe I'm just wrong.  I don't know.  What I do know is that I interact with lots of guys online and a few in real life, and I would consider them friends.  Do they only talk to me because they think I'm attractive?  Maybe--but what do I care?  I still get the benefit of their friendships.  We have interesting conversations and value one another's opinions.  Is that all an illusion?  Are men lying to women, pretending to be their friends, just so that they'll reserve the opportunity--no matter how minute--to bang them one day?  If so, that's kind of sad.

This question will probably never be answered, but I'd like to hear what you all think.  I'm curious to see if we're split down the middle like in the first video. 

Be honest:  do you think men and women can be friends?
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