Wednesday, October 5, 2011

How to attract a (possibly nerdy) man

On Monday morning The Hubby got called out of the country* to work for the week. He left on Tuesday morning and so The Kid and I have been all on our own since then, until Sunday.  How do you single parents do this?  I'm not even working outside of the home right now, and this is super-di-duper tiring.  Keeping up with a four-year old is considerably more difficult when there's no husband-coming-home-from-work countdown in progress. 

The only good thing about The Hubby being out of town is that I don't have to shave my legs or really care about how I look.  This morning, I threw on an old Star Wars t-shirt that my husband bought for himself, a little bit of makeup, and didn't bother doing anything to my hair before heading out to do the bi-weekly grocery shopping.

I was in line at Costco, buying milk and jeans, when I noticed one of the guys who works there checking me out.  He was about my age, pretty good-looking--probably what you'd call a Dad-type.  Now, I don't normally notice when guys check me out (I'm kind of oblivious that way), so you know that this was super-obvious.  I thought maybe there was something on my face or I had sucker stuck in my hair.  It wasn't until I stepped up to the cashier and he started arranging my items that I figured out what was going on.

Guy:  That's an awesome shirt.

Me (looking down, having forgot what I was wearing):  Oh, yeah.  Thanks.  It's got holes in it, but it's really comfortable.

Guy:  I'm a HUGE fan, or at least I was up until Lucas started putting out the new episodes.

Me:  Oh....did you buy the blu-rays?

Guy:  Not yet.  Did you??

Me:  Uh, no.  Maybe for Christmas. 

The Kid:  We were Star Wars for Halloween last year!

Guy:  Really??

Me:  Oh, yeah, I was Princess Leia--

Guy:  Oh yeah?

The Kid:  And I was Jengo Fett!

Me:  And my husband was Boba Fett

At this point another guy comes up and puts the first guy in a buddy headlock and they start talking more and more about Star Wars.  I smile and nod, because honestly I have no idea what the heck they're talking about.  I finally politely excused myself and make a break for the door. 

The guy didn't even put my stuff in a box, damn it.

At the next store, I started paying attention and I definitely noticed similar "how YOU doin'?" looks coming from several other men aged 25-40.  It turns out that wearing a Star Wars shirt is a TOTAL dude magnet.  Who knew?  And for those of you who think that I was still probably looking pretty hot, I offer this piece of photographic evidence:

Seriously, guys?
On another note, I really need to either lose a few pounds or buy some bigger clothes.  The Levi's I got at Costco weren't quite the right cut. 

Anyway, that's my big tip on how to attract a (possibly nerdy) man:  get yourself a Star Wars t-shirt.  But make sure it's an old-school Star Wars t-shirt, and not one from Episode One or something.  Apparently that's bad.  I wouldn't know.  I've seen the whole series exactly once, and I fell asleep during each one of the movies...but the shirt is super-comfy.

* OK, he got called to Canada.  I say "out of the country" so that I can sound like one of those women whose husband has a high-powered, globe trotting career.
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