Sunday, July 31, 2011

I'm coming out!

I know this isn't going to be a popular decision with a lot of people, but I've decided to come out and stop blogging anonymously.  Here are my main reasons:

1.  It's too hard to stay anonymous.  Anyone who really wanted to find out my name could do it anyway.

2.  Google+ is forcing me to use my real name.  Since my Blogger account is linked to my Google+ account, and Google+ is deleting/suspending people who aren't using their real names, they've basically scared me into doing this.

3.  I want to get paid to be a writer.  If I'm going to sell a screenplay, it's probably good to be google-able to those people who'd like to see my prior work, including my blog. 

4.  Who am I kidding?  It's not like I'm a celebrity with stalkers trying to find me and hold me hostage.  Unless they're going to demand a ransom of unlimited free hot dogs at The Hubby's work, they're not going to get much anyway.  I'm kind of poor.

5I want to be able to share my music with you kind people.  It's next to impossible to do this without connecting my name to the songs, since I hold at least half a copyright on all of them and I want to keep them protected.  Also, it will be nice to credit my co-writers by name without fear of a quick Google search revealing my own name in connection with theirs.

6.  I shared this blog with my friends and family a long time ago.  My need to have people actually read what I write won out over my desire to talk about personal stuff, so I shared my blog on my Facebook page a while back.  The whole reason I started this blog anonymously anyway was because I thought I may embarrass my friends or family with the things I wrote about, but since I've refrained from doing that for nearly two years now, I think I'm in the clear.

So, yeah.  I've made the decision.  Don't try to change my mind, because by the time you read this, it will be too late anyway.

Here's how it's going to go down:  I will continue to sign my posts as TB, but I will no longer go out of my way to hide my true identity.  I will not, however, be revealing the names of The Hubby or The Kid or any of my other friends who wish to remain anonymous.  I have no interest in The Hubby's job scouring my blog for a reason to fire him or The Kid's name being connected to a blog post about the top 10 most annoying celebrities of 2010. 

So, that's it!  I feel liberated already.  It's a huge weight off my shoulders to make this step and stop worrying that someone will mention my name in the comments or on Twitter and I'll have to do damage control.  I'm feeling good about this decision!

Oh, one more thing.  My name is Teri Brown.  Nice to meet you.  :)

Friday, July 29, 2011

Ten Years in Vegas

Hello, readers!  Anyone else knocked up yet?  No?  Good...or just give it a few days.  Whichever you want.

I just got back from Las Vegas yesterday after spending three nights there with the hubby in celebration of our ten-year wedding anniversary. 

Ten years boyyyyyyyyiiiieeee!

Although the trip probably qualified more as a mini-break than a full-blown vacation, I can tell you that three days in Vegas is exactly enough time to lose all the money you brought and to leave feeling icky.  Which is not to say that I didn't have a great time--it's just hard to keep up with the City of Sin for much longer than we did.

We got a great deal on a room at Aria, which we both loved!  It's a newer hotel, and the casino, restaurants, and rooms are awesome there.  When we arrived, the front desk guy upgraded us to a higher floor with a city view because we were celebrating our anniversary, and they later delivered us a sweet little treat to our room:

It may have to be my anniversary every time I go back.

It was hard to get a good self-portrait of the view.

It was so sparkly!

Even the walls were fancy!

We went to see two shows while in town:  Phantom (the Las Vegas experience!) and Peepshow with Holly Madison. 

Even though I'm a huge musical theater fan, I actually preferred the burlesque performances in Peepshow to the pared-down and glitzed-up Phantom.  Maybe it's because I've seen Phantom of the Opera three times already, but even sitting third row center didn't keep me from yawning halfway through.  Maybe I just wasn't in the mood?  The pyrotechnics were blinding, and the guy who played Phantom was really just kind of "meh" that night.  Maybe he was having an off night...gonna give him the benefit of the doubt since he's been at it for like five years now.

Peepshow, on the other hand, was thoroughly entertaining!  Yes, there were plenty of boobs to be seen, but the singing  and dancing were the highlights.  At one point, I was laughing so hard that the muscles in my cheeks started burning.  Holly Madison is gorgeous, and much shorter and sweeter-looking than I would have imagined her to be.  She does have one solo, and while she's not a great singer, the number is perfectly suited to her.  When The Hubby and I left, we both agreed that it had been our favorite Vegas show we'd ever seen.

Sensible shoes--but no visible bruises!
My legs were still pretty badly bruised and a bit swollen, but I was saved by Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs leg makeup.  Although it didn't cover completely, the bruises looked faded enough so that I didn't feel self-conscious at all.  The spray also gives a nice shimmery finish and stays on ALL FREAKIN' DAY.  In fact, I would venture to say that it would stay on for days and days, until you scrub it off with soap and a washcloth.  This stuff is awesome.  I even went swimming and it stayed on.  Seriously.  If you need to cover up anything on your legs, get it. 

My poor broken toe held up pretty well.  While still swollen and a little painful, I was able to walk around on it in less-than-ideal shoes.  Would I have rather worn cuter shoes?  Yes.  Were my feet happy that I didn't wear six-inch heels for the mile walk to the Venetian?  Bigger yes.  In the end, it was probably to my advantage that I couldn't wear the super-uncomfortable, sexy shoes.

I thought that I really loved roulette--until it took all of my money.  My number never hit even once (as The Hubby put it, "maybe 18 isn't actually your lucky number").  I've heard it said that roulette is the worst-odds in Vegas, but I can usually play for at least an hour on $50 before I walk away a winner-winner-chicken-dinner.  Not this time.  By the time all my money was gone  (which didn't take long, I'll tell ya!) I was feeling kind of bitter and sad. 

Me before the bitterness set in.  Ah, I used to be so hopeful.

Buying two adorable retro-style dresses from the Bettie Page Store definitely helped to lift my mood!

Another highlight?  The FOOD.  When we used to live in Santa Monica, I worked at Sushi Roku, and I miss it dearly.  Luckily, there is a Sushi Roku in Caesars Palace, so we visited it twice in our three days.  It was worth the [hot, sweaty, foot-blistering] walk.

Eel avocado roll, masago sushi, and a red sun roll.  Come to mama.
Happiness is Sushi Roku sushi in my belly!

Tuna tataki.  If you're ever near a Sushi Roku, go in and order this.  BEST DISH EVER.

One of the only negative things about this trip was that I was constantly exhausted.  I've found, now that I'm a mom, I have a really hard time sleeping when I'm away from The Kid.  I couldn't even nap.  Also, every time we passed a child the same age as mine (which was surprisingly often), I got a little teary-eyed.  Though it made sense for us to take this vacation alone, The Hubby and I are both in agreement that from now on, The Kid stays in the picture when it comes to trips. 

Even though we left Vegas poor and exhausted (at 6AM), and The Hubby and I didn't get to sit together on the way there or the way back (just assign seats already, Southwest!), the trip was a lot of fun, and very memorable.  I'd do it all over again, but maybe next time I'd stay away from the roulette and gravitate towards a classier slot machine.  Maybe something with "cougars" on it, and little lipsticks and matchbooks.   Maybe something like this:

...Or maybe I'll just save myself the heartbreak and take my gambling money shopping.  Whichever.

Thursday, July 21, 2011


Five bloggers I follow are pregnant.  FIVE.  Another one had a baby in March.  If you do not want  a baby and I follow your blog, this is a warning to you:  TAKE EXTRA SPECIAL PRECAUTIONS.  

Coming to a uterus near you, if you aren't careful!
You have been warned.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I'm so tired.

So, the truth is that I've been avoiding my blog. 

Partly, this is due to the fact that I HATE the new post editor and dashboard that Blogger has forced upon me.  Also, I've got a lot of big family drama going on that I can't so much broadcast over the internet.  Mostly, though, I just don't have a lot to say.  I've still been sequestered to my home to heal (my broken toe and my laser-treated legs), and that leads to very few opportunities for blog ideas. 

I did start using Google+, so if anyone would like to add me, please do so by my email address:  So far, I like it!  It's taking a while to get off the ground, but my goal is to have it replace my Facebook profile in the next few months or so. 

I'm almost healed from my EVLS procedure.  My final appointment was about eight days ago, and I've still got some bruises, but with the help of arnica cream and pellets, they're fading pretty quickly.  The hope is to be able to wear shorter dresses and skirts when The Hubby and I go to Vegas on Monday.  I mean, I could wear them now, but I kind of look like a leper...or like I'm extremely accident-prone, which I actually am.  Basically, my goal is to not have anyone ask me "what happened?!?".  If I can't achieve that, then I'll probably just resort to the long skirts and dresses that I've been wearing all summer.  Oh well.

This is the most boring post ever.  I'm sorry.  I'm so tired.  I almost fell asleep in between paragraphs just now because I was resting my eyes.  I'll do better next time, I promise.  Don't forget to add me on Google+, and if you need an invite, just shoot me an email!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Lessons Learned From Party Hosting.

I seriously hate throwing parties.  I just do.  I don't like feeling like I'm responsible to show people a good time.  It's too much pressure.  Also, I hate cleaning, and any time I'm going to have people over to my house, I have to clean it from top to bottom so that they won't know that I'm actually a sloppy, lazy bum.

That said, The Hubby just loooooves having parties at our house, so for the second year in a row, we hosted a big Fourth of July bash.  I learned a few things in the process.


1.  There is no shame in taking anti-anxiety medication in the days leading up to the event.  I did NOT do this, and I ended up grinding my teeth incessantly, which led to a repeat of the Locked Jaw Incident of 2010.

2.  The Hubby is a master at closing jaws.  After much panic (which, let's face it, was inevitable), I calmed down enough to Google "how to close a locked jaw" and we came across this muy helpful video. 

It only took The Hubby two tries before my jaw slid painlessly back into place.  Thank God, because I didn't want to spend the 3rd of July in the ER with all those fireworks victims.  Could have been a long wait for a girl with such a minor problem as a mouth that won't shut.

3.  People don't care if you don't decorate...but the pictures will come out nicer if you do. 
Not very festive.  Oh well.

4.  If you have fireworks, people will come.  We live in the only county in the metro area which, for some reason, allows nearly every kind of firework available.  Our county is usually considered undesirable, until 4th of July rolls around and everyone is looking fore a way in so that they can blow stuff up without getting arrested. 
See that giant yellow and black box behind them?  Those are fireworks.  They were awesome.
5.  You should never machine wash a Roman shade on "heavy duty".  Especially not a shade that goes over the toilet in your bathroom, an hour before your guests arrive.  I'm not sure exactly HOW the holes got there, but I do know that they weren't there before I put it in the wash. 
Moths weren't involved, and neither was bleach.  Just a normal washing machine.
6.  Sugar and caffeine will keep your Kid up long enough to see the fireworks.

But they'll give him "crazy eyes".
7.  When taking group photos, make sure everyone is on the same page.

I guess the rest of them didn't get the "this is a silly shot" memo.  Boy, do they look dumb.
8.  Midwestern Humidity should never be underestimated...and hair product should be used liberally.

Clearly, I learned this lesson too late.  My hair grew to about twice this size by the end of the night.
9.  Giving your camera to a child will result in the best photos.  This series was shot by a friend's daughter.  I think she thought it was Halloween...but you can't deny her artistic ability!

The photographer.  Mwahaha!
10.  Throwing a party isn't so bad after all.  Everyone had a great time, and the clean up wasn't even super-hard.  Next year, I'm just going to save myself the anxiety and roll with the punches.  After all, 4th of July only comes once a year.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Summer of Suck.

This summer is kind of sucking.  My toe/foot is still very painful and, from what I've read, could be causing me trouble for the next couple of months still.  What the heck, modern medicine?  You can grow a boob in a lab, but you can't fix a broken pinkie toe?  Something is seriously wrong with this picture.

Also, although I knew it when I signed up for it, this laser vein surgery recovery SUCKS.  Wearing compression hose in 98 degree weather is not agreeing with me at all.  When you combine that inconvenience with my inability to walk much because of my foot, you get my least-fun summer ever.  I've actually found myself longing to exercise, and those of you who know me, know that this is not me AT ALL.  My body is screaming, Do something!  Be active!  I'm becoming an angry invalid. 

So, yeah, physically...this has not been my season.  I'm gunning for July to be better than June was, though, so a change in attitude is first-up.  Mantra time:

I can be healthy!
I can be happy! 
Yay, life!

I guess it's really a cross between a cheer and a mantra, but I think it'll still work.  Let's DO this, body.
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