Friday, June 10, 2011

WTF Amazon?

I ordered something on Wednesday from Amazon and chose the free supersaver shipping, which I always try and qualify for.  Yay.

Yesterday, I decided that I'd really like to receive the shipment sooner because it contained some brass brads that I needed for my screenplay and I have an opportunity to send it out to one of my first-choice actors.  I tried buying the brads here, but none of my local stores carry the right ones, and the right binding is imperative in Hollywood (or so I've heard). 

I logged on to Amazon and started looking at my options for changing the shipping.  When I changed it to overnight, the cost was ridiculous, so I tried to switch it back to free, but I guess that changing it once nulled and voided that offer.  Ugh.  So, I changed it to 2-day, thinking that at least I'd get it sooner than regular shipping, even if it cost a lot more.  I closed my browser (semi-) happy.

Today, I thought to myself, Why haven't I gotten an email saying my stuff is on its way?, so I logged in to Amazon and clicked on "where's my stuff?"  Imagine my surprise when I saw that the estimated delivery date was TUESDAY, JUNE 14TH.  UUUUUUUGGGGGH!

After much digging, I finally found the "contact us" button and started a live chat with a man in India.  Here was our conversation:

You are now connected to Purnima from

Me:I changed my shipping to 2-day, yesterday, but my delivery estimate isn't until next Tuesday!

Purnima:Hello, my name is Purnima. I'll be happy to help you today.

I was charged for 2-day shipping, but it's not shipping out in time.
I'm very frustrated.

Purnima:I’m sorry to hear about this.
I've checked your order and can confirm that your order has entered the shipping process and is currently being packed for delivery. 

Me:Well, that's great, but I need it here sooner than Tuesday
If it won't be here sooner than Tuesday, then I would like to have the 2-day shipping charges removed, please.

Purnima:I see that your order is scheduled to be shipped by FedEx on June 10, 2011
It should be delivered to you by June 14, 2011.

Me:That's four days.
I changed it yesterday.
I assumed when I changed it to two-day shipping, it would be here in two days.

Purnima:A package shipped on Friday via One-Day delivery will normally arrive on Monday, the next business day. 
You can only get Saturday or Sunday delivery for One-Day delivery packages if that option is available and you choose it at the time of order.

Me:I would just assume change it to USPS shipping, because it would probably be here in the same amount of time for less money.

Purnima:I'm sorry about that.

Me:I tried to change it yesterday, but it wouldn't let me, so I just thought it would be fine and I'd get it sooner.

Purnima:Unfortunately, there is no way to request a specific shipper.
We use a variety of carriers that we've found provide the best service for our different shipping options and assign a carrier automatically when we ship your order.

Me:But I do not want to pay for 2-day shipping if it's going to be delivered FIVE days after I requested the 2-day shipping.
That's not two days.
That's not even two business days. It's three.

Purnima:I'm sorry about that.
As a one time exception, I'll refund the shipping charges on your order when it ships.
I'll personally followup with your order and will issue a refund for the shipping charges.
Would that be alright?

Me:I suppose so. I do appreciate the help. I just wish I could have known before. Thank you.

Purnima:I'm sorry for any inconvenience this might have caused.
Is there anything else I can help you with?

Me:Yes. I'd like for you to get up right now, leave your desk, and hand-deliver my stuff to me.  I would like it here by 8 pm, please.

Purnima:Ok.  Leaving now.

Me:And stop at Starbucks, please.  I could use an iced chai.

Purnima:No problem.  Whole milk?


Purnima:Got it.

Ok, that last part didn't happen.  But it should have.  That would have been awesome.  

Anyway, I'm really frustrated.  I love Amazon, I use it A LOT, and you can buy almost anything on it.  Now I know that paying extra for shipping is pretty  much NEVER worth it.  Let this be a lesson to all of us.  You are welcome.
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