Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Random randomness.

As I was draining the macaroni for The Kid's lunch just now, I smelled what I thought to be cigarette smoke coming from under my kitchen window.  I got really paranoid and started looking around for an intruder, and then I realized that there had been some crud on the burner, and the scent of that crud burnt to the bottom of the macaroni pan was what I was smelling.  I worry too much.

Tab is delicious.  I realize that it's probably terrible for me (containing both saccharine AND aspartame), but I just can't get enough of the delights within that pink can.  Why is it so hard to find??  I hope they don't stop making it soon, but they probably will since I love it so.  That sort of thing happens to me a lot.  I got mine at Super Walmart, if anyone is wondering where they can find it.

I really want to go buy Tangled on blu-ray, but I'm having a hard time spending the $20 because my niece is coming into town this weekend and I'm taking her prom dress shopping, so I want to save my money for that.  Argh.  Also, I should probably save it as an Easter present for The Kid.  Time will tell if my willpower is great enough.

I've been reading my old journals lately, from when I lived in L.A. and after that.  I figured it would help me with my screenplay, but mostly they are filled with details of arguments The Hubby and I had at that time.  I guess it's good that I had a place to vent, but I wish I would have written down the happy stuff as much as the other stuff.  I'm contemplating burning them now, or at least tearing out the negative pages.  No need to subject The Kid to reading that stuff one day.

I REALLY dislike the term "mommy blogger".  It seems to be used in a derogatory way more often than not, and I don't get it.  What constitutes a mommy blogger anyway?  Does the blog have to be more than, say 50% about her kids?  I'll admit that I try to keep myself in check so that I don't fall into that category, but what's so wrong with it anyway?  Why all the mom-hate?  If you don't like it, don't read it, but don't dismiss someone entirely just because she blogs about her kids and family life.  That's just rude.

Speaking of kids, I feel like everyone has baby fever--pregnancy is everywhere!  Babies are adorable and sweet and I love cuddling and kissing them and all, but I'm not one of those women who sees a baby and gets an achy uterus.  I was wondering if I'd start to regret my choice to only have one child as The Kid got older, but it seems like I'm growing more confident of my choice instead.  Newborns are a lot of work, man.

I am, however, obsessed with puppies.  Can't stop looking at them on craigslist.  I want a puppy, da*n it!!!!
courtesy of

Monday, March 28, 2011

Dreaming vs. Doing

"There are so many things I want to do, but I end up doing not much"
                                                -Celine (played by Julie Delpy) in Before Sunset

I love that movie, and Julie Delpy in particular.  This quote sums up my life in a tidy sixteen words and a comma. 

I feel like I've been really busy lately, but I think it's just my brain that's busy.  I can't read or write fast enough anymore.  My thirst for knowledge on screenwriting has grown insatiable, and I want to make sure I learn what I can while I'm still inspired to learn it.

One thing that I've come to realize about myself is that I'm very fickle.  It's very easy for me to let things fall by the wayside and let day to day life get in the way of me achieving goals.  Sometimes, it's not even that I lose interest so much as that I talk myself out of the next step.  I think I'm actually afraid of success.

For example, when The Hubby and I lived in L.A. and I was trying to make it as an actress, an audition came up for the touring company of Beauty and the Beast, the Musical.  Well, I was ECSTATIC.  "Home" was one of my favorite songs to sing in the car, and it had always been a dream of mine to be a Disney princess.  So, you would think that I would be first in line at the open audition, right?  Wrong.  I didn't even go in.  The fact that there was a dance audition as well, and I wasn't a dancer, intimidated me so much that I just sat outside the building and watched everyone else go in.

I still regret that, to this day.  Sure, I probably wouldn't have gotten a part, but I could have at least tried.  What did I have to lose?

What I'm saying is that I need to stop fearing success.  The best thing that I (or anyone) can do is to do what I love and not worry about the next step.  In church last Sunday, the pastor was talking about how so many of us let fear get in the way of doing what we really want to do.  The test she gave was, if you weren't afraid, would it be something you'd do?  If the answer is yes, then go for it!  What do you have to lose?

In the upcoming months, I hope to finish my screenplay.  Who knows if it will ever be made into a film?  At least I'll have finished it.  I've also got one of my old songwriting partners on board to start getting some new tunes together.  Maybe none of our songs will ever make me one red dime, but I'll sure enjoy creating them!

It's time to stop dreaming about the things I want to do, and start doing them.  It's time for me to stop wasting my time on things that aren't the least bit productive.  My free time is scarce, I'm going to start using it wisely!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Fun with Stats!

Does anyone else garner endless amusement from looking at their blog statistics?  I do.  Take a look at my search keywords today:

click on the screen shot to enlarge

Two observations to be made here:

1. People are MEAN! Why are they searching for this stuff??


2. How messed up is it that my blog comes up when people hit the "search" button?

My all-time stats are slightly more positive:

It's kind of small.  Click on it if you can't see it.

It used to give me great joy that people were searching for me specifically, until I figured out that it's just my friends who don't have Google or Blogger accounts and refuse to bookmark me.  Oh well. 

The really weird thing about this set of search terms is that I only mentioned Tiffini Hale ONCE, in passing, and she's still number one source of search engine hits, other than my blog name.  How weird is that?  Must be because there is so little information about her on the web.  If you ever read this, Tiffini, I love and support you!  I didn't mean for my blog to feed any rumors of drug use--I didn't even say that you were on drugs

I apologize if I'm confusing those of you not familiar with this person.  I'll move on.

The best part about people searching for horrible things like "Megan Fox is ugly" is that they are directed to a post I wrote about how awful people are for writing stuff like that on the internet.  Case in point, my all-time stats on most popular posts:

Yeah, you're probably definitely going to have to click  on this one to see it.

Boy, I have paltry numbers, don't I?  Don't all you sponsors rush to send me your products and money, now!

Anyway, this revelation pleases me.  At least if people are searching for horrible, mean things on the internet, they are being directed to my mission to end that sort of behavior.  Also, I think that I may have helped some people avert disaster by pointing them to a dishwasher recall they may not have known about otherwise.  I'm making a difference!  Yay!

What is the weirdest search term that has showed up on your blog stats*?  Let's see what kind of freaks there are out there! 

*If you don't know how to find this information, just click on the "stats" tab at the top of your blogger home page.

If you like diet blogs...

Follow my friend!

She just started this blog, but as you can tell by her first post, she's a very talented and entertaining writer.  Should be a fun journey!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

An Open Letter to Donald Trump

Dear "The Donald",

I hear you're considering running for President of the United States of America.  Good for you!  I hope that you make it through the election without any assassination attempts and with your health intact.  I do not, however, wish you a victory.  Why not?  Let me count the reasons.

1.  You are a birther.  Really, Donald?  REALLY?  Do you honestly believe that this country could elect a President that didn't even meet the first requirement for the job?  Do you seriously believe that his parents had the foresight to publish birth announcements in the Honolulu papers back in 1961, claiming that their son had been born there, all because they KNEW that one day he'd want to be President and they needed to get a leg up on the charade?  Hearing you keep saying "he needs to show us his birth certificate" over and over makes you sound like an idiot.  Ever hear of Google?  Here, I'll save you a step:

2.  You have questionable hair.  Ok, that's not really a good reason for you not to be President, but it really bothers me. 

3.  One of your biggest claims is that you can get this country back into shape, fiscally.  Considering that you are part of the problem, I find that highly unlikely.  Your companies have filed for bankruptcy THREE times.  What about that fact infers that you are fiscally responsible?

4.  You are an elitist (and possibly a racist).  There.  I said it.  On "The View" today, you kept going on and on about how Obama is a "nobody" who just came out of nowhere.  You claimed that he didn't deserve to be President because nobody remembered him from his early life.  You said that lots of people remembered you, growing up in New York, and that you can PROVE that you did, indeed grow up.  What the heck are you trying to imply here?  That Obama isn't a person at all, but some sort of alien who came down to this planet twenty years ago to infiltrate our government?  You are not better than anyone solely because you grew up in New York and people remember you from your childhood.  That's just dumb.

5.  You are totally tacky.  Nobody wants to see the White House covered in gold-leaf.  Don't act like you wouldn't do it--we've seen your hotels.  You'd probably put your picture on the Presidential china, too.  Case in point: 

I know that if I sat here long enough, I could fill a book with the reasons that I think you would make a horrible President, but I've got stuff to do, Don.  The thing is, I just really really don't like you.  If you become President of the United States of America (or, as you would have it, The United States of Trump--don't act like you haven't thought about it), I will be forced to pull out all my hair and gouge my own eyes out with a spoon--the frustration would be too great to express verbally. 

As I said before, I wish you no harm.  I hope you get to keep doing business and filing for bankruptcy and marrying gold diggers and pooping into your gold toilet--I just don't want your decisions to affect me in ANY WAY. 

Please spare me this pain and suffering, and stop the madness now.  Do what's right for America and give up this dream.  Sure, I could assume you would lose, but that's a risk.  Your hair has hypnotized many middle-Americans.  Those tea partiers who have become disenchanted with Palin are looking to YOU to be their savior.  Don't give them what they want.  Please just go back to rolling around naked in your pile of money, or whatever it is you do at night.  A presidency would not be nearly as much fun, I guarantee it.


TB, concerned citizen

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Someone must have been pretty pleased...

Because I got a cherry on top!

Thanks to Krista over at Mommy Doesn't Wrestle, I have another award to put on my virtual mantle!

This one is a little different than just "list five/seven/three facts about yourself", so that's nice.  Here's what I must do:

1.  List three things that I love about myself
2.  Share a picture of me, and
3.  Nominate five other blogs for this award.

Easy-peasy!  Let's DO this!

Three things that I love about myself:

1.  The fact that I have come to accept myself for who I am.  This may sound like a small thing to many of you, but it's been a long road getting here!  I wish I could have done this sooner, because it would have made my twenties a lot easier, but, hey, I'll take what I can get.  I'm not saying that I'm never self-conscious about certain things, but I've made great strides in my quest to stop comparing myself to other women.  And I like how I look on most days.

2.  My ears.  I have really tiny ears.  I know it's probably a silly physical attribute to be proud of, but I think they're cute.  :)

3.  I love my talent for singing and songwriting.  I really need to make more videos to post here on the blog so that I can share some of my songs!  I'm just having some trouble with my video editing software lately, so I have to figure that out before I can do it.  It will happen, though, I promise!

Y'all know what I look like, but since it's an award rule, here's a recent picture of me:

Waiting in line with The Kid for a glitter tattoo on St. Patrick's Day.  Too bad you can't see my ears.

Okie dokie!  Now, here are the new recipients:

The other Krista at Alla Fiorentina
Hulabuns at The Binderclips and Hulabuns Chronicles
Bon Bon at the whim wham life
Vanessa at {the best is yet to be}
Jennifer at Ramblings of an Insomniac's Mind (where'd you go, woman?)

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Laryngitis and a Contest

I woke up with laryngitis.  As you can see from my tweet above, I'm not exactly without fault for this illness.  I've been fighting a cold for...oh...eternity, now, and the cough really set in yesterday.  Thunderstorms and a lack of funds kept me restricted to the same 900 square feet all day long, and by 6:00 pm I had accomplished nothing other than earning a bunch of gold dinglepop medals on and watching The Kid create his own rainy day games (jewels such as stuffed animal bowling and dinosaur death match). 

When The Hubby came home from work, I decided that I needed to work on my abandoned screenplay, and he was kind enough to allow me to lock myself in our room with my laptop and a glass of wine.  What a great guy, huh?  I found myself on a roll, and by 2:00 am, I had gone from 14 pages to 51 pages. 

I'm halfway through, guys!  How exciting is that?  I'm so happy.  I never thought that this process would be so easy.  I mean, I know that I have editing and re-writes and all that ahead of me, but I've found myself surprised at how quickly the material flows out of my my brain, into my fingers, and onto the computer screen.  I always thought of a novel or a screenplay as something that takes years to finish, but now I realize that, much like a song, it can be done in a relatively short period of time if inspiration hits you just right.  Who knew?

As for the premise, well, it's based upon the time that The Hubby and I spent living in L.A.  It's intended to be a small film, a character-driven comedy/drama similar to, say, Sidewalks of New York or Pieces of April.  The whole thing is filled with autobiographical anecdotes, to the point where all the characters still share the names of the people I've based them on.  Oops.  I know I'll have to change that.

In fact, maybe you guys can help me out?  Since not many of you actually know our real names, what names would you assign to me and The Hubby?  Do I look like an Angela or a Heather?  Like a Tracy or a Tina?  I would love a little help here--name the Hubby too if you are so inclined!  Here are a couple of pictures of us from around that time:

click on the photos to enlarge

Name my mom too!  She's on the left in the Disneyland picture.

Oh, oh!  I have a good idea!  A GIVEAWAY!  I've never had a contest before on my blog, so this will be my first-ever.  If one of my readers comes up with names that I end up using in the screenplay, I will send that person a special prize...uh, to be determined at a later date.  It will be fabulous, so get excited, people!

I can't wait to hear all of your suggestions--thanks in advance!  Oh, and it should probably go without saying, but if you know me, please don't send in suggestions with our real names, or I won't publish the comments.  If any of you have good suggestions for a fabulous prize...I'd like to hear those too.  :)

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Shameless plug

A good friend of mine started a blog about crafting, and even if you're not an avid crafter, you should check it out here and follow her.  She has some genius ideas that will make you look smarter and more artistic than you actually may be.  :)

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Let's (effortlessly) get into shape!

I am so lazy.

So, a while back, I was having lunch with a few friends and all three of them were on diets.  As they sat around sharing iPhone calorie counting apps, I sat back eating my banana pie milkshake, thinking how silly it was that all these beautiful women were so worried about their weight.  I proudly declared, "Well, I'M not on a diet!", which began a mini-boycott of all diets, and healthy eating in general.

I think I went a little too far in the wrong direction.  It wasn't long before my pants started feeling tight and I realized that I need to get this thing in check.  Now, I'm not going on a diet (because I really don't believe in them), but I have started watching my portion sizes and making healthier eating decisions.

Since my booty has become a bit flabby, I thought maybe I'd firm it up a bit by adding an exercise regime as well.  I pulled out the EA Active on the Wii and started a new 30-day challenge.  I made it exactly two days, and I haven't been back since.  It's not that I don't want to work out--it's just that I've had a hard time finding the time and motivation to do it. 

...Ok, so maybe I actually don't want to work out.

But wait!  I came up with a magical solution:  ankle weights.  I just strap 'em on in the morning, throw on some wide-leg pants, and then go about my business.  My legs are tired, so it must be working.  Am I a genius, or what? 

Unfortunately, tomorrow will hit nearly 80 degrees, so my options are to either:

(a)  wear the weights with a skirt and look like an idiot all day
(b)  be unnecessarily hot by wearing the weights with wide-leg jeans, or
(c)  forgo my exercise regime for a day. 

Hm.  Tough decision.  Considering my laziness (and the fact that tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day), I'm leaning toward option C, as well as consuming a green beer and some corned beef. 

Saturday, March 12, 2011

I need a break!

How am I ever supposed to be productive if I get interrupted every time I start to get somewhere?

I recently started writing a screenplay.  I'm super-excited about it, and I think that it could be really great.  I have the idea pretty well-formed in my head, the timeline written out, and a few scenes written.  The problem is that, every time I get a quiet moment to myself where I can work, I get interrupted, either by The Kid, The Hubby, or my barky-mcbarkerson dog, Vinnie. 

Will I have to wait until The Kid is in school before I can get anything done?  I love staying home with him, and I wouldn't change it for the world, but in taking the role of a stay at-home mom, I've promised that my entire life will revolve around The Kid, at least until he gets to school.  It's so difficult sometimes, allowing my own selfish hopes and dreams to go by the wayside until he's a little more self-sufficient.  How do people have three or four kids, and do this for ten + years at a time?  It's exhausting!

Aaaaand...cue The Kid, who just woke up from his nap. 

Sorry I'm so negative, I just had to get it out somewhere.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Scary Sports Fans

I am not a sports nut.  In fact, I don't really even like sports at all.  I'm one of those people who watches the Superbowl solely for the commercials.  Since we live in the Midwest, we are surrounded by NCAA rivalry, specifically that between KU (The University of Kansas) and MU (University of Missouri).

This sh*t gets scary, people.

Since The Hubby works at KU, you can call me biased if you like, but from what I've observed on my facebook feed, MU fans are MEAN, y'all!  I'm not saying there aren't exceptions to the rule--surely there must be some good sports sitting in the Mizzou bleachers.  However, it seems like every time I see a post from a Tiger about a KU/MU game, it usually mentions the word "hate".  Here's my interpretation, based on my FB news feed:

(Click on the image to enlarge)

I was going to watermark it, but I was afraid that I'd start getting hate comments if I included my blog address.

The Hubby relayed a story today that he'd heard at work about one time that KU played MU in Columbia.  One of the players had just had a family member die, and there was a group of students near their basket who, every time the player got near, would shout out mean comments about the dead family member.  Now, I'm sure this kind of thing isn't exclusive to MU, but why is it necessary at all?  Is good sportsmanship a thing of the past?

Don't get me wrong, a little rivalry is fun.  I like to egg on my brother in-law, a true gold MU fan, by filling his ice dispenser with KU cubes (those game-night giveaways yield hours of fun!).  I just don't see the point in being hateful over the thing.  I mean, it's just basketball (or football).  It's not like either of us played there.  Why so serious, Tiger?

I'm bracing myself for all the comments about how awful Jayhawk fans are, and I'm sure there must be some.  I just don't know any.  As soon as KU is out of the running for a title, The Hubby starts rooting for MU or K-State, and I know several other people who do the same thing.  Shouldn't that be the goal:  not just hometown pride, but Midwest pride?  Anyway, I think it's nice.

That's all I'm going to say about sports, probably forever.  I just spent all afternoon making that graphic, so I wanted to make sure and post it on my blog, so it didn't go to waste.  As you were.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Strangely Worded Survey Day!

How weird is it that I only have 72 followers, and two of them are named Krista?  Weird, right?  Anyway, one of them, the one who writes Alla Fiorentina, tagged me in a survey, so now I must complete it.  Here it is, in all its glory:

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Napping in a pile with The Hubby, The Kid, and Vinnie (my dog).  They're all so much sweeter when they're asleep.

What is your greatest fear?
The death of The Hubby or The Kid.  Either one terrifies me, so I try not to think about it.

Which figures do you most identify with?
Curvy & gangly ones!

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Lack of follow-through.  I have so many good ideas, but I have a really hard time finishing really ambitious things that I start.

What do you most value in your friends?
Availability and acceptance.  In other words, don't be flaky, and don't judge me.

What words or phrases do you most overuse?
Seriously and freakin'.  I also say "I love you" constantly to The Kid, The Hubby, and Vinnie, but I don't think you can overuse that phrase.

What is your favorite Journey?
Was this originally in English?  These questions are strangely worded.  The journey in life I've taken with The Hubby so far.  (corny, but true)

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Patience.  It gets me nowhere, which is why it is not a virtue of mine.

What is your favorite occupation?
Writer.  I hope one day I can list that as my, on a tax return or something.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
My skin has never been very clear.  I wish I could be one of those women who looks great first thing in the morning, but I need a lot of help.

What is your greatest regret?
That I didn't find my self-confidence sooner in life.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Romantic love:  The Hubby.  Love in general:  The Kid.

Where and when were you happiest?
Probably the several days after I met The Hubby, but there have been lots of happy days in my life!

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
To be less critical of myself and my loved ones.

What do you consider to be your greatest achievement?
Raising a really good kid.  The songs that I've written and recorded are pretty good too.

What is your most treasured possession?
The hard drive with all of my music and pictures on it.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Having to sit through sci-fi movies.  Sorry, I just hate them.

Where would you like to live?
Paris.  Or Hawaii.  I'd like to try out a lot of places before I die.

What is your most marked characteristic?
My awkward personality.

What is your greatest extravagance?
Fancy dinners (Hey, Krista!  We're homies!) and makeup from Sephora.  I freakin' love makeup.

What are the qualities you most like in a man?
I think he should have a penis, definitely.  Beyond that, I'd have to go on a case-by-case basis.  The Hubby is pretty great, though!

Who are your favorite writers?
Charlotte Bronte and Jane Green.  I also really like autobiographies.

How would you like to die?
I'm not going to answer that.  I don't want people coming back here when I die and making a big deal about my answer to that question.  That would be creepy.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz

Who are your heroes in real life?
Dolly Parton, Jewel, Kristin Chenoweth, and Julie Delpy

What is your motto?
Life's too short to allow stupid people in!

I'm technically supposed to tag other bloggers, but I hate excluding people, so if you want to do this survey, please steal it and put it on your blog! 
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