Saturday, January 1, 2011

A new year, a new outlook on life.

So, yeah, I didn't finish my "Best of" series.  I started a whole bunch of them, but then I kept seeing the same lists all over sites like Defamer and Yahoo!, so I decided to scrap the idea.  They'd been done.

What I realize now is that the whole experience turned into a bit of a metaphor for my life.  I'm notorious for getting really excited about something, starting it, and then psyching myself out because I think someone else can do it better than I anyway, so why try?  Well, not this year.

This morning, I woke up feeling great, with a clear head and no hangover.  This is partly due to the fact that I have a 3-year old son, so it's easier to stay home than to hire a babysitter (at $100+) and go somewhere (for $100+), only to drink too much and wake up puffy and covered in glitter the next day.  It's also, however, due to the fact that nobody invited us to a family-friendly New Year's Eve party, which I'm pretty sure was going on since most of my friends mentioned something about it on Facebook.

At first, my feelings were really hurt.  It's hard not to take this sort of thing personally, especially when you consider some of these people to be your really good friends.  But then, as the evening progressed and I started to reflect upon what I'd like to change this year, I came to the realization that none of it really matters.  Listen, not to sound conceited or anything, but I have it pretty good.  I love my husband very much, I have a very smart and well-behaved son who I also love very much, we are all relatively healthy, we have a home we can afford, we have no credit card debt to speak of, and we love spending time together as a family.  Could we have more?  Sure, who couldn't?  But we have all we need.

I guess I knew all this before, since I've had a hard time coming up with a New Year's resolution; I'm actually so happy in my life that it's hard to think of anything I'd want to change.  However, the reflecting I've been doing has brought me to one big resolution:   

This year, I will stop comparing myself to others and I will be happy with what I have and who I am.

I've wasted too much time this year feeling inferior by comparison. Yes, Megan Fox is beautiful, but I will never look exactly like Megan Fox, so I should be happy that I'm attractive in my own way.  Sure, some of my friends live in better climates with big homes and high-powered careers, but that shouldn't make me any less appreciative of a beautiful Spring day or the time I get to spend with my son.  So what if I didn't get invited to a New Year's Eve party?  At least I woke up sober and clear-eyed and ready to take on the new year.  

This is not the face of someone who drank too much last night!

So, I hereby declare 2011 the year of happiness! may as well be, since we're all going to die in 2012 anyway.  ;)

ETA:  I just want everyone to know that I'm not really upset about the whole NYE thing anymore.  Things turned out great, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.  If you are reading this and you feel bad, please don't!   I didn't write this post to call anyone out on anything or to make anyone feel bad.  I was just using the situation as a means to an end to talk about my resolution.  Have a happy New Year everyone!
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