Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Top 10 Things I Learned in 2010

In no particular order...



The Top 10 Things I learned in 2010




10.  The actress who played Winnie Cooper on "The Wonder Years" is the real-life sister of the actress who played Becky Slater on "The Wonder Years".  (I don't know why, but this just blew my mind) 

Photo:  speechlessthemovie.com


9.  Men are even more literal than I previously thought.  I feel like I learn this every year, but then I forget it.


8.  After having your wisdom teeth removed, don't let your forgetful husband bring them into the pharmacy with him.  That can lead to an awkward telephone call.


7.  Blackberry smart phones can do practically everything...except get wet.  Also, you should never put your phone in your back pocket and then sit on the toilet.  I'm just sayin'.


6.  Chipmunks in Colorado carry the plague.  It is not advisable to let them crawl on your child.  Who knew?


Adorable--yet DEADLY!!!



5.  People search for weird things on the internet and, if you're not careful, they'll find your blog that way.  Writing about obscure pop stars from the early 90s will definitely get you some hits.  So will writing about A Christmas Story right around Christmas.





4.  Caulking is serious business...and best left up to professionals.  Furnaces, however, can be fixed pretty easily if you know what's wrong with them--and for much less money than those repairmen will charge you.

This day sucked.


 
3.  Facebook addiction is REAL.


2.  Drinking Red Bull and vodka may seem like a good idea at the time, but it is NOT worth it the next morning.  Especially if you have things to do and places to be.  Consequently, it's ok to stay home and watch a movie instead of going out to a bar:  it's cheaper, more relaxing, and you won't regret anything the next day.


1.  I'm actually a pretty decent writer after all.  :)

Monday, December 27, 2010

Top 10 Favorite blogs of 2010

This was a really difficult list to make.  I have a pretty extensive blog roll, and I love each one for different reasons.  Whenever I stop enjoying a blog, I simply stop following it.  Therefore, this list is coming equipped with an extensive honorable mention list.  My blog, my rules.  I could get used to this being-in-charge stuff!


TB's Top Ten Favorite Blogs of 2010



10.  {the best is yet to be}Vanessa Chinn, an adorable young married Harry Potter fan with two cats, runs this photo-heavy blog.  Though her posts aren't always super-long, they come often and are a bright spot in my day.  She likes answering fill-in-the-blank surveys and posting photos of her cats.  Oh, and she has the cutest hairdo ever.


9.  The Binderclips & HulaBuns Chronicles
I began following HulaBuns less than a year ago, after she started following me.  After a little bit of comments correspondence, we figured out that we live about ten minutes apart from one another.  How nutty is that?  We quickly became good friends, and I love having a blogger buddy to meet up with and have dinner or see movies.  Her blog chronicles her life with her husband and two dogs, and what it's like to be a *little* bit quirkier than the rest of the world around her.


8.  My Inflammatory Writ
Kari is a playwright living in New York City.  She is fiercely liberal and wonderfully honest when it comes to writing about her life.  Although she doesn't update her blog as often as I would like, I always enjoy reading what she writes.  It's inspiring to see someone following her dreams and succeeding!


7.  A Teacup of Coffee
Ex-patriot Krista married and Italian man and now lives in Italy.  She likes to point out fun things she's found on the internet, loves good food and drinks, and shares helpful hints for making a fake cappuccino.   Such a whimsical blog!


6.  Sporadic Sporkitudes
I don't remember how I found Rambling Hutch, but I'm sure glad that I did!  She's a writer living in Los Angeles, working in the film industry in some capacity or another.  All I really know about her job is that she gets to drive a really cool golf cart.  Anyway, her writing is funny and easy-to-read.  Her posts are like potato chips:  I dare you to read just one.


5.  Gently Said
Jerry was my first stranger-follower.  I've mentioned him on here before, but I'm going to do it again.  His blog is just great.  He writes about once a week, often sharing stories of his youth or anecdotes from his present life.  Want to know how to make a really good Rustic and Bloopy Bread Pudding?  Well, Jerry's your man and Gently Said should be your destination.



4.  Hyperbole and a Half
If you don't read this one (is that possible?), you are missing out.  Allie Brosh is a genius at telling stories from her childhood with simple MS Paint cartoons.  Though she doesn't update as often as she used to (I have a sneaking suspicion it's because she's busy getting paid to be funny now), she's worth following, at least so that you can be one of the first to start her newest post going viral.  Which they all do now, because she's that good. 


3.  Red Means Go
Annah Rondon  writes this blog, which should probably have an "adult material" disclaimer, but doesn't.  Do drawings of naked people count as porn?  I don't really know, but I do know that Annah can draw the heck out of them, and they're hilarious!  I'd say that her content is about 1/2 sex-related and 1/2 pet-related (she fosters homeless dogs), with a great deal of self-deprecation sprinkled in for good measure.  She updates nearly every day, because she's on a quest for famosity, and she always responds to comments.  What are you waiting for?  Go subscribe, you nut!


2.  Kid In The Front Row
I found this blog when I was perusing the Blogs of Note one night, and I've been hooked ever since.  Kid blogs anonymously, but from what I've gathered he is British, a professional screenwriter/director, and he's had some measure of success.   Mostly, he writes about movies, which works for me since I love movies dearly, but he also interviews other film professionals, which makes you feel like, Hey!  I could totally do that one day.  Very inspirational blog, it's definitely one of my favorites now!


1.  The Sassy Curmudgeon
Who loves Una?  I do!  No matter how many other blogs I read, I always check Una's blog first.  She writes nearly every single day about something.  She lives in NYC, works for a newspaper, and has a photographer husband.   She had a unibrow growing up, which seems to have given her material for the rest of her life.  She likes karaoke and wine and trashy television...what's not to like?  Read her.  Love her.  You know you want to.








Honorable Mentions!

Lucky Punk
 I wish she updated more, because I love this blog written by a single entertainment producer living in L.A.
Ramblings of an Insomniac's Mind
 She can't sleep, but she's creative, so she's always got something to share!
Containment Area for Relocated Yankees
 A liberal, working for a conservative.  Yikes.
Meet Me in Missouri
 Follow this journalism student as she documents her out-of-State college experience.
Netflix Stream
Looking for something to watch on Netflix tonight?  Check here first!  
Happiness in Food
This is actually my hubby's blog...he just started it.  Go here if you want to see what I eat.
Not Without My Squeegee
A new blog, written by a friend in Scotland who works at a huge estate.  She makes really pretty cakes.
14th Street
Sey had a rough year, but hopefully she'll be up and running again soon, writing about her life in the P.I.
Sassy Sassy and Cult Jam
A friend for years, Sassy Sassy is awesomely hot and sometimes a little evil.  It's terribly entertaining.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Top 10 Most Annoying Celebrities of 2010




 You know what I like?  Lists.  Since the end of the year is nigh, I thought I would post a series of Top 10 lists, because this is my blog and I can do whatever the heck I want with it.  Don't like lists?  Come back next year.

Since I am in a bit of a bad mood today, I will start with more of a "worst of" list.  Although I seriously hate people being snarky for no reason at all, some people deserve to have their stupidity pointed out.  Therefore, without further ado, I bring you:

TB's Top Ten Most Annoying Celebrities of 2010

10.  Kelly Killoren-Bensimon
"[E]verybody knows my name so that's a huge honor and I am really grateful to Bravo for exposing me and exploiting my name like that."
Some of you are probably thinking, "Who is that?".  I envy you people.  Kelly Bensimon is one of the cast members of The Real Housewives of New York City, and she is dumber than a box of rocks.  Also, she's mean and thinks that everyone is out to get her.  She would be higher on the list, except that the show is on hiatus, so she's not annoying me as much as usual.  Last I checked, however, she had more Twitter followers than Bette Midler, which proves that there is something terribly wrong with the world.
9.  Oprah
"YOU win a car!  YOU win a car!  YOU win a car!"
Just quit already, Oprah.  Stop drawing it out.  I'm sick and tired of hearing you yell out celebrities names ("It's Nicole Kiiiiiiidmaaaaaaaan!") and watching your audience members freak out for five minutes straight because they just won a trip to Australia that I will probably never be able to afford myself.  Stop showing off and retire to your new network, which will probably be full of annoying programming too.  Oh, and while you're quitting things, how about putting someone else on the cover of your magazine for once?  We know what you look like by now.

8.  Lindsay Lohan
"I am innocent... did not do drugs they're not mine."
 I almost feel bad for putting Lindsay Lohan on here, because it's gotten to the point where I just feel sorry for her, but it's hard to ignore someone who thinks they are so far above the law that they can break their probation and expect not to pay any consequences.  I hope she can get her act together in 2011. 


7.  The Cast of Jersey Shore
“And Abercrombie & Fitch have a shirt called the Fitchuation, you know, after me, the Situation”.
 Can someone please explain to me why these people are so famous?  I tried to watch the show one time, but I had to turn it off after about five minutes due to my brain shriveling up.  I could actually feel myself getting dumber.  I hear that Jersey Shore is MTV's highest-rated TV show, and I sure hope that's because people are watching it ironically. 


6.  Heidi Montag-Pratt 
”I want to be blonde tomb raider. I’m better with guns then both Angelina (Jolie) and Megan Fox put together!”
Ok, I feel sorry for Heidi a little bit too, but it's hard not to list her.  She had all that crazy plastic surgery and went on TV talking about how happy she was about it and how much she loved her surgeon.  Then, her surgeon died in a car accident, and all of a sudden she's all over the press talking about how unhappy she is with her surgery and what a terrible hack-job he did on her.  That's messed up.  Also, she's famous for being famous, and that irks me.  I've never seen someone so good at staying in the press for absolutely no reason.

 5.  Glenn Beck
"When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I'm just like, 'Oh shut up' I'm so sick of them because they're always complaining."
Whether he's saying Obama hates white people or complaining about the families of 9/11 victims, Glenn Beck is pretty much always spewing hateful nonsense.  The worst thing about Glenn Beck, however, isn't his stupidity or his penchant for crying--it's the fact that millions of people listen to him and take what he says as gospel.  There is a whole subculture of Beck fans out there who have put all their life-savings into gold because Beck advertises it on his radio show, and they think he knows what he's talking about.  I hope something really bad happens to him this year--preferably something ironic, like he suffocates in an American flag or gets hit on the head with a bar of gold that falls off his top shelf in his closet.

4.  Charlie Sheen 
I just didn't believe I was like everybody else. I thought I was unique.
 I don't get why Charlie Sheen keeps getting a pass from Hollywood.  He does terrible things to people, gets caught, but still he makes nearly $2M per episode of that God-awful sitcom he's on.  What is that all about?  I'm no Mel Gibson supporter, but how come he's a pariah and Charlie Sheen just goes about his business?  It doesn't make sense.  Stop watching his stupid show, people!  It's sexist anyway!

3.  Sarah Palin
“Ground Zero Mosque supporters, doesn’t it stab you in the heart as it does our throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, please refudiate."
Speaking of stupid shows, have any of you seen Sarah Palin's Alaska?  I caught a little bit of it the other night.  She was dog sledding...with a bouffant.  According to the opening credits, she wears that G*$%@*m Bumpit everywhere she goes:  from dog sledding to cookie making to rock climbing.  Every time I hear her make a political statement, I think, Why are people taking you seriously?  You look like Miss Texas USA 1991.

2.  Kanye West
"IF I DON'T WIN ALBUM OF THE YEAR, I'M GONNA HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT...I SAID I WAS THE FACE OF THE GRAMMYS LAST YEAR. THIS YEAR I'M 10 TIMES THAT!"
After the whole Taylor Swift "I'm gonna let you finish" incident of 2009, I figured this dude would fade into oblivion, but apparently people still  buy his music.  Unfortunately, that means that people keep on inviting him on live television, giving him more opportunities to be an idiot.  If you need more evidence of his idiocy, check it out here.  What.  A.  Jerk.  Please go away, Kanye.

1.  Ke$ha
"Like, I have a belief that if I wear my placenta in a necklace there’s a possibility of me ... being psychic."
She spells her name with a $ in it.  She prides herself on being trashy.  She sounds like she's puking when she sings.  Some of her most popular lyrics are "Boys tryin' ta touch my junk junk".  GO AWAY, KE$HA.  I don't wantchoo 'round here!








Ok, I feel better now.  My next list will be nicer, I promise. 

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Inspiration, baby.

Lately, I have been full of it.

The other morning, as I was driving home in the dark at 4:30 AM with the whole car trying to sleep while I chugged sugar-free Redbull and tried to stay awake, I let myself daydream a bit.  Since I didn't want to wake up the kid (or lock my jaw again--yikes!), I sang some of my original songs quietly to myself.  It got me thinking.

I'm tired of giving myself deadlines for success and feeling like I'm too old to do things.  I've been feeling too old since my early twenties, and it's gotten me nowhere.  All it leads to is regret.  Regret for the things I never accomplished, or haven't accomplished yet.  Why do I do this to myself?  For someone who was so excited to turn thirty, you would think that I would live in the moment a little bit more, wouldn't you?

I have always listened to that little voice in the back of my head that tells me I'm not good enough or young enough or talented enough to accomplish the things I want.  Well, no more.  From now on, I will be ignoring that voice.  I plan on being very successful in some sort of creative field before I die.  Yes: before I die.  This is the only acceptable deadline.   Nothing is impossible anymore.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Home for the holidays!

Today is the last day of our vacation.  We are getting up tomorrow at 4am and leaving Denver so that we'll hopefully get home to KC before it's dark again.  Sigh.  Not looking forward to that drive.  It was so much easier before we had the kid.  Now we have to stop a lot more, so it takes that much longer.  Oh well.  I'm sure our dog appreciates it anyway!

Earlier today, I did some Christmas shopping while the hubby and his dad took the kid to see the new Narnia movie.  It was SO hard to hold back on the purchases, but I think I did a pretty good job at spoiling him *just* enough--he's been a good boy, after all. 

December 4th, 2009.  Gosh, am I behind this year!
Speaking of Christmas, I am so excited to get back home and get into the holiday spirit!  This weekend, we'll get a tree and decorate it, with only a week to spare before the big day.  I'm hoping that it doesn't feel like we've missed out on too much of the season, since we're getting such a late start and all.  I really look forward to watching Christmas movies non-stop and making cookies and all that good stuff!

I finished my Christmas gifts just under the wire, and they should be to my house by Christmas, which means that they'll be late to some of the recipients.  Last year, I made a hard cover book with the year-in-pictures of The Kid, narrated in rhyme, from his perspective.  Everyone loved it so much that I've decided to make it a tradition.  It's actually the perfect gift for someone who's hard to buy for, and they end up costing about as much as I would have spent on each person anyway so, score!  We buy one for ourselves, too, which serves as a sort of baby book for him since I'm too lazy to fill out the real, actual baby book.

Tonight, I have been recruited to make my Spicy Chorizo Soup for dinner, which I'm kind of looking forward to.  After two weeks of not cooking at all, I'm going to enjoy chopping and stirring.  Wish us luck for a safe drive home--next time I blog, it'll be from Kansas!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

A video and a survey!

We got back from Monterey last night and today we're enjoying a relaxing day at [my mother in-law's] home.  This morning, we went to breakfast at Tower Cafe in Sacramento (try the French toast!), and we were lucky enough to be seated next to Santa, who was out doing some plain-clothes recon work in preparation for Christmas Eve.  He knows if you've been bad or good, folks, and this was especially apparent to the kid, which is why he ate more of his breakfast burrito than I was expecting. 

Here's a video I took of him trying to wave at Santa:



Sadly, his wave was never acknowledged.  I told him that Santa didn't want anyone to know it was him, since he was trying to be sneaky, so that's probably why he didn't wave back. 

Monterey and Santa Cruz were beautiful!  There was a lot of fog in Santa Cruz, but we still had fun.  I took a bunch of pictures with the timer, trying to get a good Christmas Card photo.  Unfortunately, the position of the sun didn't jive all that well with my mission, but I still got some good ones.  Will you all help me decide which one to give out? 

Here are the options:

#1 (I would Photoshop out the band logo)
#2 (Dark, but whimsical!)
 #3 (Good picture of everyone, but I'm slouching)
#4 (My favorite for the color, but the kid looks kind of strange)
#5 (The hubby's favorite, but I think the sun is hitting my face oddly)

See?  Tough decision.  Please weigh in on your favorite in the comments--I would appreciate the help! 

Thursday, December 9, 2010

I left [the contents of my stomach] in San Francisco.

Hey guys!  I would first like to say thank you for all of your nice comments on my jaw blog.  So far, I've been sticking to the soft food diet (as difficult as that is on vacation) and I haven't had any more trouble. 

Also, I wanted to apologize to everyone because I'm really behind on my blog reading.  It's driving me nuts, but I can't keep up at all right now, as little as I'm online out here.  I will get to them as soon as I can, I promise!  I love all your blogs.  :)

So, yesterday the hubby and I left the kid with my mother in-law and fled to San Francisco.  We've always been giant fans of the city, and we make an effort to visit every time we are in Northern California.  It's the one city that we would choose to live in if we had unlimited funds, and we often fantasize about what that would be like (hint:  it's AWESOME). 

Yesterday was not an ideal day to go to the city, because it rained the ENTIRE day, but we still made the best of the hand we were dealt.  We met up with some friends and went to dinner at Mona Lisa in North Beach for some delicious pasta.  After we were ridiculously full on carbs, we headed out to the bars and drank way more than was prudent.





Today, even though I was severely hung over and only got about three hours sleep, we took full advantage of the 63 degree weather and started by trying to walk off the alcohol.  It wasn't working as well as I'd hoped, so I stopped in at Walgreen's for some of the pink stuff.  I literally used my last five dollars when, on the way out, a man asked me for some spare change:


Homeless Man:  Can you spare some change?


Me:  I'm so sorry, but I literally just used the last of my money on this Pepto Bismol...do you need any?  You can have some if you want.


Homeless Man:  Oh.  Well, ok, sure!


Me:  (opening the bottle)


Homeless Man:  Well, actually, never mind.  I'm fine. 


Me:  Are you sure?


Homeless Man:  Yeah, maybe next time.

This conversation struck me as incredibly funny.  In my dizzy, nauseous state, I just figured that if he felt the same way I felt, he would appreciate some medical relief.  Looking back, I guess it was kind of weird for me to offer a homeless guy a swig of Pepto Bismol. 


As we walked on, I began to feel better, and so we hopped in the car and drove up to Twin Peaks for some spectacular views:



We are definitely framing some of these!  I only wish the kid were in them, they would make great Holiday greeting cards. 

Our short trip ended with some spectacular Chinese food, then we headed back to Sacramento.  What a great time we had!  I was especially happy that we got to spend time with our friends who we see so very rarely.  Even in my sickly-state, this was one of the best San Francisco trips I can remember ever taking.

Tomorrow:  Santa Cruz, and then Monterey!  Yeeeehaaaaw!


p.s.  I am never drinking (more than one drink in a night) ever again.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Well, that was not fun!

Terrible start to our California trip. 

Yesterday, after arriving in Sacramento and taking the obligatory nap, I yawned.  But my jaw didn't close.  OUCH.

I have TMJ pretty bad.  It causes my jaw to click and gives me headaches, and sometimes when I yawn or eat something really hard, I have trouble closing my mouth.  Usually, I just shift my jaw around a little bit from left to right, front to back, until I get it closed, which never takes more than a second or two.  Yesterday, however, something went terribly wrong, and no amount of shifting worked in my favor.  I was stuck.

With some hesitation, I called down to the hubby:  "______  Con yo con hea??"  (It was terribly hard to understand me with my mouth open)

He took one look at me, mouth agape, and suggested the ER.  I suggested he call my mom, since she has TMJ trouble too, and is a nurse to boot.  She suggested we put a hot compress on my jaw joint, and see if that helps.  It didn't.  The hubby, again, suggested we go to the ER, and I agreed. 

I was humiliated.  I mean, I couldn't close my mouth.  I looked so dumb.  Also, what a wimpy reason to go to the emergency room.  There were people BLEEDING in there, and I just couldn't close my mouth.

Luckily, the triage nurse didn't take my condition lightly.  She took pity on me quickly, called in the doctor who "likes the unusual cases", and sent me back to wait in the hall, rather than in the waiting room.  I appreciated that, because it kept the looky-loos to a minimum.  I tried not to cry, and I tried not to drool.  In an effort to keep things light, I had the hubby take my picture and upload it to Facebook:

I tried to look as miserable as possible.  My mom commented, "Does she know you took this??"

Yeah, that's what I looked like.  Permanently.  EMBARRASSING!  The nurse came in and gave me a shot of pain medicine while I was waiting for X-ray to open up.  The name of it was something like gelato, and it was related to morphine, and all it really ended up doing was causing my stomach to spasm and me to hyperventilate.  Not a fan of the gelato medicine.  I will not get that again, if offered.

At this point, it had been about two hours of open-jawed-ness, and I was laying with an oxygen tube up my nose, trying to have a conversation with the hubby that did not require consonants.  He was just remarking that it didn't look as bad as I thought it did when--CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!--VICTORY!  My mouth closed on its own!  Hooray!

This is just about the happiest I've been in years..

I was euphoric!  After it closed, they still did an X-ray just to make sure there was no permanent damage, and the doctor came in and told me what he WOULD have done, had it not closed on its own.  Boy, oh boy, am I glad it closed on its own!  It was something of a fish hook maneuver that would have required mild sedation and larger quantities of pain meds.  Not my cup o' tea. 

I left with instructions to ingest a soft diet for the next couple of weeks, until I get into the ENT doctor when I get back home.  My evening consisted of lying on a couch and trying not to puke from the gelato remnants, and my morning so far has consisted of trying not to yawn or open my mouth too wide for fear of it happening again.  Not ideal, but at least I haven't ruined our entire vacation with my stupid mouth.

San Francisco on Wednesday!  Woot!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Take THAT, mug!

Greetings from Denver!

So far, our trip is wonderfully busy.  Well, wonderful if you don't count the fact that my dog puked all over the floor of my father in-law's house where we're staying.  Which I don't--I prefer to forget that part.

We went to Boulder today and my father in-law bought me an early Christmas gift.  Check it out:

If you'd like to buy one yourself, click here.  (They didn't pay me to say that, but they should!)


No, your eyes do not deceive you--that is a travel mug with a French press built right in!  Genius, I say!!  I LOVE it! (Is something wrong with me that I'm this excited over a coffee mug?)

More updates another day, just wanted to brag about my awesome gift.  Later gators!
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