Thursday, April 29, 2010

Blog activity update.

Been going through a lot of stress lately with stuff I can't go into on here.  Please bear with me and keep my family in your prayers.  I'll try and post something less vague and less depressing soon.

Thanks!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Singin' after supper.

Today was about the most boring day I could have possibly had, but that's ok because last night was a lot of fun!

We had my friend Jamie and her family over for dinner, drinks and homespun karaoke.  I made my delicious simple roast chicken, mashed Yukon gold potatoes with gravy from the drippings, sweet corn, and homemade biscuits.  Man, I'm good.

Usually, we avoid having company over to our house for several reasons:  it's teeny-tiny and old, we have only four dining room chairs with our table, and we have two dogs, neither of whom are well-mannered enough to leave the visitors alone.  Also, I feel like everyone I know has a big, new house in a new neighborhood and so I feel a little insecure about where I live.  I know that's silly, but I can't help it.

Anyway, it was a great night.  Again, I am realizing that Jamie is one of my favorite people on the planet.  Case in point:  she loves karaoke and sings really, really well.  We took some videos of us doing duet karaoke in my living room, and I was super-di-duper excited to post one of us singing "Oops I Did it Again", but it turns out that I don't have it on my computer.  I don't think I can link it from facebook, or I totally would, because we do a mean Britney impression!  Instead, you will all have to make due with my impression of the Cranberries, singing "Zombie":



Singing into a mic in my living room looks a lot more pathetic than it felt at the time...

Inspired by Jerry, I made a new page on my blog today!  Check it out at the top, up there ^ where it says "Greatest Hits!"  In case any of you are bored and haven't read all the way back, you will find some of my favorite posts linked on that page.  It was kind of fun to go back through what I've written in the past eight months and see how this blog has evolved. 

Later gators!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Why I am OFFICIALLY old.

Although I think that 30 is a great age, and I'm very much enjoying this year, it has come to my attention that I am no longer a Spring chicken. Practically every day, I am reminded in one way or another that there is a very large generation gap between myself and people in their early to mid-twenties. So, without further adieu, I give you...


THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE AN OLD LADY


1. Wrinkles. I have become acutely aware of a vertical wrinkle between my eyes and some horizontal ones on my forehead. I'm doing my best to avoid making the faces which exacerbate these wrinkles, but I'm pretty sure it's a lost cause.


2. Hipsters. Every time I'm in a public place with teenagers, I find myself shaking my head and saying, "What are they wearing?? Kids these days."


3. Open Casting Calls. I really wanted to enter a casting call to be on Glee, but I was too old. Same with American Idol. Really? Talent has no expiration date, and neither should open casting calls!


4. Reality TV. I happened to turn on a marathon of The Hills today, and I think it actually made me dumber. I'm not saying that I shun all reality TV, because I do watch The Amazing Race, Top Chef, and a few others, but the I try to avoid shows about vapid people doing nothing but arguing, drinking, and shopping, which appears to be its own very popular genre.


5. Teenage relatives. My niece just turned 16, and that means she can drive. She has an amazingly dry wit, ambitions to become a veterinarian, and boobs, yet I feel like she is still a little kid. How could she almost be an adult already? If she's an adult, that means I'm DEFINITELY an adult, a fact which I've only just recently come to accept. I'm sure that one day I'll turn around and my kid will be driving too. The older I get, the faster time flies.


6. Skinny jeans. They cut off my circulation. Ok, well, maybe those make me feel fat--not old.


7. Pop Music. I'll admit it: I have no idea what Justin Bieber sings. I only know his name because the ladies on The View keep talking about him and showing his picture. Ke$ha mystifies me even more--is she actually puking while she sings? Because she sounds like it. Every time I hear Tik Tok, it makes ME gag, so maybe that's what she's going for. And why can't she spell things like a normal person (e.g. "Tick Tock" and "Kesha")?


8. My social life. Sure, I go out and do things with friends sometimes, but I'd usually rather be at home with the hubby and kid, watching a movie.



This is the short list. I'm sure it's incredibly incomplete, but as the hubby is about to be home any minute, I've got to wrap it up so that I can spend a little time with him. I'm gonna go put on my Snuggie now.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

What's that burning smell? Oh, it's just my dishes.

I'm sort of paranoid about my dishwasher catching on fire and burning my house down. I know that seems like an irrational fear, but when I was in middle school, my dad's dishwasher caught on fire while we were out of the house and caused a substantial amount of damage, so it's not like it can't happen. Every time I turn the dishwasher on before I leave the house, I'm thinking in the back of my mind how my dogs are going to perish--not that it keeps me from taking the gamble. My dishes need to get clean, after all, and the thing is kind of loud.

Considering my fear of dishwasher meltdown, you can imagine my horror at detecting a burning smell this morning while putting away my clean dishes. Where was that coming from? I opened my kitchen window, thinking maybe it was just the neighbor's house burning down. Nope. Not coming from outside. I pulled out the bottom rack of my dishwasher and, to my dismay, saw this:


This is the heating element at the bottom of my dishwasher, and the brown stuff would be the burnt calcium deposits I scraped off of it with my finger nail.

Admittedly, I probably should have cleaned the white calcium deposits off of my heating element a long time ago, but what the heck??? Why did it get so hot as to burn the stuff off? Are all my dishes going to turn brown now?

Unfortunately, I am married to an incredibly un-handy man, so fixing this problem is pretty much up to me. So far, I've poured some vinegar in the bottom and run an empty cycle, but I think I may need to get in there with some Lime Away and scrub. I'm more than a little concerned, though, that even if I get the element clean, my house is going to burn down. If the dishwasher is getting so hot as to burn itself up, isn't it only a matter of time before the dishes explode? Or am I just being dramatic?

Good thing I have tea to calm my nerves. I took a picture, since I had the camera out in the kitchen anyway, of my tea cabinet. I mentioned my love of tea before, but I thought a picture would give you all a better idea of what kind of a tea-obsessed freak you are dealing with here. Behold:



Sadly, this is what my cabinet looks like when I'm running low. I'm hoping to make it to the Asian market sometime this weekend to stock up on my loose-leaf jasmine.

Anyway, if anybody has any experience with DIY dishwasher fixes, I would be very happy to get a few tips. If I don't respond, you are too late and I burned up in the fire.


UPDATE 6/3/2010:


My dishwasher has been RECALLED due to fire hazard!  Ha!  I knew it!!!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Unleashing the turtle fury.

This morning, we got up and got ready with every intention of going to church. Unfortunately, we dilly-dallied a little too much and by the time we got in the car, we realized that the gas tank was empty and we would be late anyway, so we went to Denny's for breakfast instead. I feel bad, but we'll try harder next week.

At Denny's, we had a very sweet and smiley server who the kid decided he loved. Every time she'd walk by, he'd yell, "I love you!" after her. It took about five tries, but she finally heard it and appreciated the sentiment. I think his love stemmed from her offering of chocolate chip pancakes, but I guess it could have run deeper.

After breakfast, we took the kid to the park to make up for the fact that he didn't get to play with the toys in the church playroom. The weather was beautiful and brisk, and aside from the fact that I wore slightly uncomfortable shoes, we were enjoying walking around the pond with the other Sunday morning revelers. This park has two playgrounds, but the kid always looks forward to seeing the geese, ducks, turtles, and frogs more than anything else; and the hubby and I enjoy getting in a little exercise on the walk around the trails.

As we came full-circle on our walk around the pond, we saw something very disturbing. A young boy, about ten years old, was out walking IN the pond, catching unsuspecting turtles with his net. We watched as he placed one in a box, then took another one and was waving it around in the air like a flag.


This pissed me off. An entire family of Asian children looked on, horrified and scared for the poor turtle, but nobody was saying anything to the boy. The hubby and I made time over to him, and the conversation went something like this:



Me: Hey! Stop that! You aren't supposed to pick up the turtles. Leave them alone!


Devil Child: No! Watch this! (THROWS the turtle, about ten feet, into the pond)


Me: What the heck are you doing? That's not ok. You need to take the other turtle out of that box and put him back right now.


Devil Child: Leave me alone!


Me: I am going to call the conservation officer on that sign (pointing to a sign up the hill) and they are going to come and make you stop.*


actual turtle from the pond in question


I pulled my cellphone out of my pocket and began walking up the hill, towards the sign with the conservation department's phone number listed on it while the hubby continued to argue with the devil child.

When I dialed the number, the office was closed, due to it being a Sunday and all, but I pretended to talk to someone while the devil child looked on. I put the phone down as he neared, with an empty box and a frightened look in his eyes.


Devil Child: I'm afraid you called the police and they are going to come and take me away!


Me: I did call. You shouldn't be messing with the turtles like that.


Devil Child: Are they going to take me away?


Me: No, nobody is going to take you away, but they may take your stuff (gesturing to his net and box).


Devil Child: I'd better go and hide it then!




He ran away, presumably to hide the turtle-stealing paraphernalia.

I felt really bad that I scared him so much, but I felt really good that I saved the turtles from certain doom.



*The hubby swears that I said, "I'm going to call the cops and they're going to come take you away," but I really don't remember saying that. I was seeing red at this moment, so it is entirely possible that I said that, but it wasn't my intention.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Sweet nothings, from a 2 year-old.

"I like your hair. Your hair's boootiful! And I like your eyes. And your lips and your teef."

The kid says stuff like this to me all the time. He also breaks out in a spontaneous, "I love you so much!" or an, "I miss you, Mom." every so often. It's moments like this that keep me going. Just when I think motherhood is too hard and I'm at the end of my rope, he says something so sweet, with such an angelic look on his face, that I think my heart will burst through my chest.











...Then about five minutes later, he'll jump on my head or hit me in the face, and the whole cycle starts over again.



But I still love him. :)

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Ah, memories.

Hello, all!

I am feeling 100% better than yesterday. Maybe I'm bi-polar...or just too much tea. Either way, I'll take it!

Could this weather BE any more beautiful? 80 degrees and breezy = park time! The windows are open and the fresh air is flowing through the house. I keep getting flashbacks to my childhood, of my mom walking me to Summer school early in the morning in the fresh, humid air. I still remember the way that school smelled, and silly little details about going there. I must have been 3 or 4, because it was before we'd moved in the middle of my Kindergarten year and we lived in the blue house in Springfield, MO. That house had white wagon wheels in the front yard and an above-ground pool in the back yard.


Anyway, I was very shy as a child, and my best memory about Summer school was winning "magic wands" practically every day. You see, when nap time came and we rolled out our mats (or in my case, towel, since we didn't have much money), there was always a contest to see who could be the quietest. When the lights came back on, the teacher awarded the mousiest child with a magic wand, which was a drinking straw with a yellow construction paper star glued to the end. Every day that I won one, my mom helped me hang my new treasure up on my wall over my bunk bed. By the end of the Summer, I didn't have a bare spot left--the entire space was covered. Finally, being shy was coming in handy! I was so proud of myself.



Speaking of the blue house, I have a lot of memories of living there. It's kind of surprising, seeing as how I was between the ages of 3-4 at the time. Here's a run-down (another list!) of what I remember:



* I almost drowned in that pool! I fell through the hole in a Smurfs floaty. I vividly remember sitting at the bottom of the pool, looking around, and thinking, "Hm. I'm on the bottom of the pool." It felt like a really long time before my mom came down to rescue me, but I'm sure it couldn't have been too terribly long, because I didn't need CPR or anything.



*The ice cream man came around that house frequently. My parents taught me and my sisters how to wave a dollar at him, to let him know that we were paying customers. The ice cream man comes around here, too, but I'm hoping that my kid doesn't catch on for a while.



*That house was haunted! Seriously haunted. My sister and I saw a ghost of a woman in an airplane land on our roof once. We both still remember it vividly, and I'm pretty much convinced it was Amelia Earhart now that I'm grown up and know who she is. We didn't realize at the time that a plane couldn't land on our roof, so we were very confused when we went inside to tell our parents what had happened and they didn't believe us.



*I had ear surgery while living in that house, and I've still got the emotional scars! I had some sort of growth that had to be removed from the inside of my ear, so I had to be put under for it. The nurse told me, "We're going to give you a balloon, and then a mask!" Wow! I was so excited! She blew up a rubber glove for me and gave it to me as a balloon. I was not impressed, but I was sure that the mask would be some cool Halloween mask that would make my sister very jealous. Instead, they rolled me into the surgery room, held me down, and forced a GAS MASK over my face! It was horrible! I'm pretty sure that's why I have issues with being restrained and claustrophobia to this day. A week or so after the surgery, I remember putting my finger in my ear and having blood on it. Gross.


I will leave you, on this beautiful day, with two of my favorite photos from my childhood: toilet photos!


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Spring Fever List.

Because I am a slacker who can't seem to finish a thought, much less a blog post that flows seamlessly, today's post will be a list.

People like lists, right?


*Yesterday I went to BCBG Final Cut and got 5 items for under $50. It was awesome.


*Date Night
was awesome, both the movie and the actual date. I would describe the film as a modern-day Adventures in Babysitting, but instead of a babysitter, there is a boring suburbanite couple who are waaaaay funnier than Elisabeth Shue. And they don't have to sing any blues.


*I am stuck without a car today because the hubby fixed his car on Sunday. And by "fixed", I mean that he messed with it so much that it doesn't work at all anymore. It is in the shop. I hate not having a car. I am patiently waiting for my mom, who is visiting from Illinois and staying with my sister, to come pick me and the kid up so that we can do something. Apparently, we had two different conversations last night regarding this issue, since I thought she was coming early this morning and she thought she had the whole morning to herself to watch HGTV. Did I mention I hate not having a car?


*Anxiety has once again struck, and I am considering going back on daily medication for it. Argh!


*The kid has a black eye because of an unfortunate accident with a punching bag balloon. It was really sad...he was laying on top of it and it popped. When I'm out in public, I'm afraid that everyone thinks I abuse him, even though my mom says that every little boy should get a black eye sometimes. I'm pretty sure she thinks like this because she only had girls.


*I know I am getting old because every time I go out in public, I see young people dressed like hipsters and say "I can't believe kids these days!". I went into Urban Outfitters the other day and sifted through the clearance rack to find a couple of possibly cute tops, and when I went to try them on the dressing room attendant looked like he stepped right out of Napoleon Dynamite, complete with the 80's porno-mustache. Wasn't that movie supposed to be funny because everyone looked so stupid? How did that style become something that people actually emulate un-ironically?


*I started dying my own hair again. My sister has gotten a full-time job, and no longer has time to highlight it. I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, it's super-nice not to have to wait for her to have time to do it, and not to waste like 6 hours on getting my hair done (yes, it really does take that long with a kid running around). On the other hand, I can't do highlights myself, so I have to do a single-process, which isn't as pretty. Oh well! At least I'm getting the gray covered up, which is the major reason I color my hair in the first place.


*For some reason, lately I feel like I have a license to spend a bunch of money, even though I don't have it. I think I have what's called "Spring Fever". I want to go buy clothes and makeup and self-tanner and plants and gardening stuff and other things I don't need. I want to go out to nice dinners and sit on the patios of restaurants, drinking martinis and eating salads. I need to find a way to make some more money! I would be a great rich person.


*Maybe I can find a way of parlaying my talent for making cars out of Play Doh into a profit? Maybe not.


Hopefully I will be able to put some thoughts together into a more cohesive blog post soon...I'm going to blame the Spring Fever for this one. Now, I'm going outside to enjoy the 80-degree weather!

Friday, April 9, 2010

I'm back...and I'm dull!

Boooooring week, guys! Sorry I haven't been posting, but I didn't think anyone would really be interested in hearing how I was cleaning my house and grocery shopping. Come to think of it, I've actually blogged about that stuff before--but this time I didn't find anything interesting under the couch or have any complaints about my shopping experience. I think I just need to get back into a groove with the blogging--seems like the more I make myself write, the more I can think to write about.

The rest of my Easter weekend was fantastic. We went to my Grandma's house on Sunday and I wore my half-homemade skirt. Here I am in it, for those of you who were curious:

I am the Vanna White of skirt-showing!

The kid had a great time, but he was working on a sleep deficit, so he definitely could have been much more pleasant than he was. Here he was Easter morning, sitting on the hubby:


Oh well--what'reyagonnado?

We didn't come home until Tuesday morning, since we had lots of people to see and things to do, and I've been working on getting the kid back to normal since then. I'm really getting scared that he's done taking naps altogether, because it seems like he only will take one about every three or four days now. NOT COOL! That's one of the biggest reasons I haven't been blogging--those naps are my me-time. If he doesn't nap, my sanity goes right out the window!

I really miss the days where he would nap twice a day, giving me plenty of time to exercise, clean, blog, and take a nap of my own. Ah, those were the days. I guess it's a trade-off: I don't have to change diapers anymore, but no me-time. Personally, I don't think that's really fair, but I'll take what I can get, since I have no other option really. I'm pretty much dead-set against enrolling him in Preschool yet, so I guess I've made my bed.

Let's see...what else? Oh! The kid is staying with my sister tonight so the hubby and I can go on a date. Yay! We are planning on dinner and a movie--nothing fancy--but I'm really looking forward to it. I think we're going to go see Date Night with Tina Fey and Steve Carell. It's playing at the right time and looks funny. Could you cast a more likeable couple than those two? I doubt it. Also, I know this sounds kind of dumb, but seeing as how I love to live vicariously through movies, I like the idea of going ON date night to SEE Date Night. You don't have to point out how lame I am. I am intensely aware of this fact.

I'm sorry I'm so boring this week. I've been trying to think of ways to be more entertaining, and I think I may have come up with a good idea: I will turn my webcam on when I begin writing and keep it on until I finish the blog, then post the video along with what I've written. The point of this would be to show how difficult it is to write with a 2.5-year old awake in my presence. It would have to be a pretty short post, I guess, because who wants to see me type for 30 minutes? Eh, maybe this wouldn't work out after all. I guess it's worth a shot it's worth a shot--I could always just delete the video if it's dumb.

I'm going to go get the kid's stuff ready so that when he wakes up from his nap (YES! He took one today!) we can leave for my sister's house. Thank you, my dear readers, for not abandoning me during my time of dullness. You are the best! Mwah!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

It's all fun and games...



You know the saying.

Easter at my dad's house was AWESOME. There was an egg hunt, an Easter egg fight, and a game of dodge frisbee!

We began the day with a three hour-long drive from home to here, in which the kid did not sleep one wink. I'm not really liking this whole "no nap" thing, but he was pretty cute and didn't even complain once. We had a laptop for him to watch movies on, but we never turned it on because he stayed pretty content with the radio and frequent "Are we there yet?"s. It's amazing that a 2 1/2 year old comes up with that phrase on his own--I guess there really is no other way to put it. He was so excited to get here and hunt eggs that he wouldn't even let me get him out of his seat at the gas station to pick out a drink. Now THAT'S dedication.

Let's just say that the kid wasn't disappointed! This was a great day. There were a ton of kids here to hunt for the 468 candy and prize-filled eggs that my stepmom had been so generous to provide. Luckily, they have a lot of acreage out here. My best friend Marlene showed up with her adorable son and her baby bump. Here are some photos from the egg hunting action:







The kid was an egg-hunting-machine. He found 52! Luckily, we were able to distract him with bubbles and a trampoline so that he didn't eat it all at once.






My stepmom took all the littlest kids for a ride on the golf cart:



I'm pretty sure I can pinpoint the beginning of the end to an Easter egg fight. The kid started it, I will freely admit. He's got quite the arm, if I haven't mentioned it before. Although not yet three, that kid can pelt a cousin in the face at a distance of ten feet. It's pretty amazing, to be honest. The hubby got in on it, and then it got more serious.





My dad thought it was a good idea to take it outside, in the form of a dodge frisbee match. It's like dodge ball, but with frisbees, so much more dangerous. You get the idea. I think his thought process must have been something like this: "Hm...those plastic eggs don't hurt enough when they pelt each other with them...let's get something harder, faster, and sharper to throw." I never really realized it in all of our 13 years together, but apparently the hubby is a little competitive when it comes to these types of sports.




Yes, my hubby did that to this poor little kid: got him square in the eye with a turbo-frisbee. He didn't stand a chance. The day that started with an innocent egg hunt ended in carnage. Luckily, the victim wasn't hurt so badly that he couldn't see the cool-factor in having a black eye. He was actually a little excited about it, in the end.


Up today: more egg hunting at my Grandma's house! 80 degree weather should make for a pretty awesome Easter, and of course lots more pictures. Now, if only I can get my kid to eat something more than candy, we'll be in good shape! Stay tuned...




Friday, April 2, 2010

It may be Spring, but I am not very bouncy.

Today was long, I am again very tired. Had I blogged earlier today when the kid took his (now rarely taken) nap, I would have surely written something brilliant and exciting. I chose, instead, to make a skirt out of a dress I bought on clearance that didn't fit. Since I sewed the whole thing by hand, using trial and error, the whole project took three hours and I finished just as the kid woke up. On the bright side, at least now I have something to wear for Easter!

Speaking of Easter, we will be leaving tomorrow to visit family for the holiday. Hooray! My stepmom has organized an epic Easter Egg Hunt to be held in their gigantic yard. There will be copious amounts of candy and prizes involved, so I'm preparing myself by bringing my camera and some Xanax. Wish me luck!

I switched out my Spring clothes for my Winter ones the other day and discovered some gems I forgot I'd owned. Don't you just love that? It's like shopping, but free! Unfortunately, it's still too cold to wear most of what I dug out, but at least I don't feel so desperate to shop now. Every time the seasons change, I feel like I need to go buy new clothes. When I write it down, it doesn't seem irrational at all, since that's probably what most people do when the seasons change. Unfortunately, I don't really have the discretionary income to update my wardrobe every 3 months, so I will not be buying much more than a few $5 Old Navy tank tops. Oh well.

I apologize if this is the most boring blog post ever, but I am so tired right now that I can barely see the screen, so I have to wrap it up before I literally fall asleep on the keyboard and end up with another saved draft of crap. I will leave you with a funny photo I took of my television--it's what Dish Network had as the description for American Idol last Tuesday night. It made me giggle. Goodnight!

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