Sunday, December 26, 2010

Top 10 Most Annoying Celebrities of 2010

 You know what I like?  Lists.  Since the end of the year is nigh, I thought I would post a series of Top 10 lists, because this is my blog and I can do whatever the heck I want with it.  Don't like lists?  Come back next year.

Since I am in a bit of a bad mood today, I will start with more of a "worst of" list.  Although I seriously hate people being snarky for no reason at all, some people deserve to have their stupidity pointed out.  Therefore, without further ado, I bring you:

TB's Top Ten Most Annoying Celebrities of 2010

10.  Kelly Killoren-Bensimon
"[E]verybody knows my name so that's a huge honor and I am really grateful to Bravo for exposing me and exploiting my name like that."
Some of you are probably thinking, "Who is that?".  I envy you people.  Kelly Bensimon is one of the cast members of The Real Housewives of New York City, and she is dumber than a box of rocks.  Also, she's mean and thinks that everyone is out to get her.  She would be higher on the list, except that the show is on hiatus, so she's not annoying me as much as usual.  Last I checked, however, she had more Twitter followers than Bette Midler, which proves that there is something terribly wrong with the world.
9.  Oprah
"YOU win a car!  YOU win a car!  YOU win a car!"
Just quit already, Oprah.  Stop drawing it out.  I'm sick and tired of hearing you yell out celebrities names ("It's Nicole Kiiiiiiidmaaaaaaaan!") and watching your audience members freak out for five minutes straight because they just won a trip to Australia that I will probably never be able to afford myself.  Stop showing off and retire to your new network, which will probably be full of annoying programming too.  Oh, and while you're quitting things, how about putting someone else on the cover of your magazine for once?  We know what you look like by now.

8.  Lindsay Lohan
"I am innocent... did not do drugs they're not mine."
 I almost feel bad for putting Lindsay Lohan on here, because it's gotten to the point where I just feel sorry for her, but it's hard to ignore someone who thinks they are so far above the law that they can break their probation and expect not to pay any consequences.  I hope she can get her act together in 2011. 

7.  The Cast of Jersey Shore
“And Abercrombie & Fitch have a shirt called the Fitchuation, you know, after me, the Situation”.
 Can someone please explain to me why these people are so famous?  I tried to watch the show one time, but I had to turn it off after about five minutes due to my brain shriveling up.  I could actually feel myself getting dumber.  I hear that Jersey Shore is MTV's highest-rated TV show, and I sure hope that's because people are watching it ironically. 

6.  Heidi Montag-Pratt 
”I want to be blonde tomb raider. I’m better with guns then both Angelina (Jolie) and Megan Fox put together!”
Ok, I feel sorry for Heidi a little bit too, but it's hard not to list her.  She had all that crazy plastic surgery and went on TV talking about how happy she was about it and how much she loved her surgeon.  Then, her surgeon died in a car accident, and all of a sudden she's all over the press talking about how unhappy she is with her surgery and what a terrible hack-job he did on her.  That's messed up.  Also, she's famous for being famous, and that irks me.  I've never seen someone so good at staying in the press for absolutely no reason.

 5.  Glenn Beck
"When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I'm just like, 'Oh shut up' I'm so sick of them because they're always complaining."
Whether he's saying Obama hates white people or complaining about the families of 9/11 victims, Glenn Beck is pretty much always spewing hateful nonsense.  The worst thing about Glenn Beck, however, isn't his stupidity or his penchant for crying--it's the fact that millions of people listen to him and take what he says as gospel.  There is a whole subculture of Beck fans out there who have put all their life-savings into gold because Beck advertises it on his radio show, and they think he knows what he's talking about.  I hope something really bad happens to him this year--preferably something ironic, like he suffocates in an American flag or gets hit on the head with a bar of gold that falls off his top shelf in his closet.

4.  Charlie Sheen 
I just didn't believe I was like everybody else. I thought I was unique.
 I don't get why Charlie Sheen keeps getting a pass from Hollywood.  He does terrible things to people, gets caught, but still he makes nearly $2M per episode of that God-awful sitcom he's on.  What is that all about?  I'm no Mel Gibson supporter, but how come he's a pariah and Charlie Sheen just goes about his business?  It doesn't make sense.  Stop watching his stupid show, people!  It's sexist anyway!

3.  Sarah Palin
“Ground Zero Mosque supporters, doesn’t it stab you in the heart as it does our throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, please refudiate."
Speaking of stupid shows, have any of you seen Sarah Palin's Alaska?  I caught a little bit of it the other night.  She was dog sledding...with a bouffant.  According to the opening credits, she wears that G*$%@*m Bumpit everywhere she goes:  from dog sledding to cookie making to rock climbing.  Every time I hear her make a political statement, I think, Why are people taking you seriously?  You look like Miss Texas USA 1991.

2.  Kanye West
After the whole Taylor Swift "I'm gonna let you finish" incident of 2009, I figured this dude would fade into oblivion, but apparently people still  buy his music.  Unfortunately, that means that people keep on inviting him on live television, giving him more opportunities to be an idiot.  If you need more evidence of his idiocy, check it out here.  What.  A.  Jerk.  Please go away, Kanye.

1.  Ke$ha
"Like, I have a belief that if I wear my placenta in a necklace there’s a possibility of me ... being psychic."
She spells her name with a $ in it.  She prides herself on being trashy.  She sounds like she's puking when she sings.  Some of her most popular lyrics are "Boys tryin' ta touch my junk junk".  GO AWAY, KE$HA.  I don't wantchoo 'round here!

Ok, I feel better now.  My next list will be nicer, I promise. 
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