Thursday, November 11, 2010

A transcript: The kid at precisely three years and four months.

I did this same thing nine months ago, and it was so amusing (to me) then that I thought I'd try it again.   What a difference nine months makes in the speech of a toddler!


The kid is playing with his castle he got for Christmas last year.  He's using three of the men who came with it and one Batman toy.  And a camel.

There!  I'm alive still best friends!  Get up get up best friends!  I'm still alive!!  Get up get up best friends I'm still alive!!


(he was cuing me to play, but I told him I needed him to play by himself for a minute)

Oh, nuts.  I have to take all my stuff off.  (taking the armor off of the little action figure)

Guys, look at me best friends!  i just had to take my stuff off for a minute best friends.  You see...but now I'm putting my stuff.  Back.  On.  Raaahhhh!  I am definitely definitely have a sword.


Huh huh hu hu!  Oh no!  My dragon...kill my dragon.  Kill my castle!  This castle not dead yet.  My other green castle is dead.  (sniff sniff)  I miss him!

Don't worry best friend, my green dragon will not.  Shoot.  You.

Here dragon, talk to my best friend and don't shoot them.  Ok.

(Playing on a green dragon fortress he got for his birthday)

Sorry.  You hate this, but this is still not good.  Cuz my castle is still not paying attention.   Urrggghh castle!  be nice!  To my friend!  Shoot everybody.  Oh no!  That is not good idea!  Dragon, you know better than that.

Ok, and I say to (mumble mumble). 

Dum!  Dum!  Dum!  Dum!  Dum! (singing) I'm killing the drag-on!  And I'm nice!  (Throws a baseball at the dragon castle)

You going down, castle!  You're going down.  I'm throwing the baseball at my castle!  I'm throwing my baseball at the castle.  MOM!  I'm throwing my baseball at the castle.

Me:  That's ok

Yes!  I am sure good at baseball.

Me:  Be careful though, don't hit me

Then move


Me:  Uh, no.

(Still throwing baseball at castle...which is right beside me)

Watch out!  Everybody!  Crash.  (pushes the dragon castle over then sits on it)

What am I sitting on?  What am I sitting on that hurts, mom?  What is this that I'm sitting on?

Me:  it's a dragon castle.

No it's not!  It feels squishy.  Oh...it's a dragon castle. (looking at it)

Chin don cone do chi-cho-nacho...ding chin (some sort of made up language, clearly)


(Spinning in a circle.  Goes in the kitchen)

I am STILL thirsty!


(laying on the floor, singing nonsense)

Mom.  (large sighOpens up a drink bottle he had sitting on the table, takes a drink.)


(fake punches me)

Me:  OW!

(Giggles)  Hug!

(He's hugging me with his head)

Did you see that?  I just stepped on my castle!

Me:  Yeah.

So.  Chicka chika chika


(pinching my cheeks and shaking my head back and forth like I'm a babyYes, I'm, typing like this.)

Googie googie googie goo!

Me:  Please stop.

Hel-lo!  I.  Am.  Sorry.

Help!  Everyone!  (more nonsense talk)

Me:  Why don't you clean up your toys?

No-uh!  I am definitely definitely not going to clean up my toys.  What about if I am not going to clean up my toys.  Here!  I got a great idea!  I got a great idea!  I got great idea!

Me:  What?

I am going to get a lot a toys out and...(runs in his room and continues to talk, but I can't hear him)


(comes back with two dragons)

Here we go!  And here we go!


(Runs back in his room to get more toys, presumably)


(Comes back with a big bag full of giant Legos.)


(I guess I'd better go play Legos now.)
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