Monday, October 18, 2010

Caulk can suck it.

So, it turns out that I am something of a home improvement genius putz.  In the past week, I have put up new blinds (and subsequent blind covers), halfway taken apart my dishwasher (so the hubby could finish the job and repair the control panel), and caulked my bathroom shower. 

Today I attempted the caulking.  I am writing to you right now with caulk still all over my arms, because I am unable to stand the stench of Gojo hand cleaner any longer, which is the only thing in my home that get this crap off my skin.

Photography courtesy of The Kid, lack of makeup courtesy of my laziness.

I've done caulking before, and I don't remember it being easy, but for some reason I had it in my head that this was a 10 minute job, at best.  Oh, how wrong I was.  After spending an hour or so removing the old, disgusting caulking from all the nooks and crannies of my shower walls, I got the gun out and loaded, ready to go.  I squeezed and squeezed with all my might, until it started coming out all over my hands...from the bottom of the container.  What the heck?  Apparently I am an idiot, because in addition to cutting the tip off (which I did--I'm not that dumb), you have to unscrew that tip and cut off another dealy-bobber that's underneath it.  WHY the caulk-makers create their products this way, I will never know.  It's redundant.  And it's stupid.

Anyway, after I finally figured out this magical secret, I already had caulk all over my hands, but soldiered on anyway.  I had this nifty little tool that's supposed to help spread the bead evenly, but after using it, it just didn't look right to me, so I put on even MORE caulk and spread it with my finger instead.  It got abso-freakin-lutely everywhere.  THIS is what I ended up with:

Click to enlarge and laugh at my ineptitude.

So now, of course, I must wait for it to dry so that I can scrape off the superfluous caulk, which would appear to be the vast majority of what I've done here.  Yay.

Next time, I'm hiring a handyman. 
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