Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I'm Worry McWorryson.

I am a worrier.  By nature.

When I was in fourth or fifth grade, I missed so many days of school over anxiety that my school counselor pulled my parents in to a meeting with me and read me this book:

Good luck if you want to buy it--apparently it's a collector's item now.

I used to be on Zoloft, and I still take a Xanax every once in a while, when my worried thoughts get in the way of my normal daily activities.  The problem with Xanax, as I've stated before, is that it knocks me out, which keeps me from worrying, but kind of screws with my day.

The reason I'm bringing this up is that lately, I've been overcome with worry about something I have no control over.  Last week, the kid was sick with a cold (which he STILL has, going on two weeks), so I took him into the doctor.  She had an intern with her this time, so they did a very thorough once-over on the kid, more so than usual.  She happened to notice one of his cafe au lait spots (smooth birthmark-looking spots on his skin), and asked me how many he had.  I said I wasn't sure, but he had more than a few, and I'd never really thought much of them.   She went on to tell me that at his next checkup, in 10 months, I should count how many of the spots he has and mention it to his regular doctor, because those spots can be a symptom of a disease called Neurofibromatosis (NF for short), but not to worry because he's very smart and seems very healthy.  I left, not thinking much of it.

A few days later, I remembered what the doctor had said and casually mentioned it to the hubby when we were out and about.  A day after that, he said he'd been worrying about it, so I headed straight to Google.  Holy crap.  What a horrible disease.  Neurofibromatosis can cause tumors to grow on nerves anywhere on the body, particularly the skin and spinal cord.  There is no cure.  It is treated by removing the tumors when they appear--there is no way to know when or if they will appear, and there is no way of preventing them.  Some cases are mild and cause little to no problems for the patient, while other cases are debilitating.

Immediately after the web search, I looked over the kid and counted his spots--six or more, combined with any one of a number of symptoms, basically means he has it.  So far, he has five of these spots.  They've been appearing on his body for the last year.  I'm FREAKING OUT now.  Every opportunity, I look him over and check under his arms, on his irises, and in his groin area for freckles (another symptom).  Worrying about this is consuming my thoughts all day--it's the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of in bed at night.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing this is not to gain sympathy or hear "it's all going to be ok", because nobody knows that for sure.  I just really wanted an outlet to get all these thoughts out of my head.  I'm making a conscious effort from here out NOT to worry about this.  Seriously--what good will it do anyway?  Even if he does turn out to have NF, there is nothing I can do about it.  We're going to roll with the punches here.  I've always been careful never to take a day with the kid for granted, so that won't change, but he'll probably get a few more hugs and kisses from here out.

...it's going to be harder than ever not to spoil him.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I am a loser.

So, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet this morning.  Yes, this is the Blackberry that I got only a couple of months ago after spilling lemonade all over my other one.  The new phone is currently drying on top of the cable receiver, as recommended by the geniuses in the Blackberry forums.  I hope it works, because I really can't afford a new phone. 

Just so you guys know, it is ill-advised to sit on the toilet with your phone in your back pocket, as it may fall out when you stand up.  

I feel like such a loser.


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Twitter confuses me.

So, I finally broke down and started a Twitter account.  Seeing everyone's tweets on their blog sidebars made me feel left out, so I made it specifically for this blog, under the name year31.  If you also tweet, please use the handy-dandy link on the right there to follow me, because as of right now, I have only one follower, and I'm fairly certain they are just spam.

My plan is to use Twitter in the same way I use my status updates on Facebook, but probably with more quotes from the kid, since he says funny things all the time and I don't write them down as often as I'd like.  So far, I'm following bloggers and celebrities, and I feel like a complete moron.  I keep going back to the help section to try and figure out what the heck it is I'm doing, but there aren't enough answers!  If anyone can help me, here's what I don't understand:

  • If I want to mention someone in a post, can I just put the @ in front of their name and it will link them?  Or do I have to go to their profile and click on the "mention this person" link?  Will they see it?
  • What's the deal with hitting "reply"?  If I reply to someone, do they see it?
  • How come I had two direct messages emailed to me this morning, but they never showed up on my Twitter home page?  
  • If I want to talk to someone, what's the best way to do that?  Reply to something they've said, or just mention their name in a tweet?  Send them a message?  
  • What's the deal with tags that start with a #?
  • How the heck do you read Re-tweets?  I can't figure out what the original tweeter wrote and what the re-tweeter wrote.

Clearly, I need some help.  

In the spirit of my confusion, this is my current Twitter photo:

Monday, August 23, 2010

What the???

The craziest thing just happened to the hubby.

He was on his way to work, driving in the left lane on the highway, when a car about 50 feet in front of him made a hard-left into the median for no apparent reason at all.  Major crash, major screeching of the tires to get around it.  Being a responsible and caring man, the hubby pulled over about a block in front of the wreck, called 9-1-1, and got out of his car to see if the driver was OK.  As he was describing the incident to the 9-1-1 operator, the driver of the car jumped out of his car and started running at the hubby.  The remainder of his phone call went something like this, on his end:

Oh, the guy's getting out of his car...ARE YOU OK?...uh...I don't know if I should stay here...there's a giant guy in a do-rag running at me...Uuuuuuuuuaaaaaahhhhhhhh!  Holy crap!  He just jumped in a silver Infinity with a blond girl driving it and they sped off!  What the???

Apparently, the Infinity stopped in front of the hubby's car, so he didn't notice it.  He said it looked like she was there specifically to be a getaway driver for the guy.  Huh??

What the heck??  Thank goodness the hubby wasn't hurt!  He left his phone number for the police to contact him, and I'm fairly certain he'll end up in court as a witness to whatever the heck this turned out to be.  Why would someone crash their car on purpose?  There weren't any policemen chasing them or anything.  I'm so confused, but also incredibly grateful that I'll have my hubby back at the end of the day and that he wasn't beat up or trampled by a giant man in a do-rag.  That was a close one!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Karaoke, baby!

My head hurts.  I really didn't drink very much last night, so I have no idea why I have such a headache today...oh, wait.  I haven't drank any water.  I just realized that the only thing I've had to drink today is two cups of English Breakfast tea.  Gimme one second.

Ah, that was refreshing!  Why is it that if you drink a glass of water really quickly, it makes your head pound more?  Hopefully it will help in the long-run.

So--my birthday!  It was lovely, thank you all for the well-wishes.  The hubby planned a karaoke party for me, which I found very sweet and thoughtful.  About half of the attendees dropped out for various reasons, but that was fine with me, because I'm not sure if I mentioned it before or not, but I'm not a fan of big crowds.  We ended up being a party of seven for dinner, which was just the right size, if you ask me. 

Dinner was at Gordon-Biersch and was very tasty!  I had lobster and shrimp tacos and a lemon drop martini. 
Gosh, I love him!

That's my sister giving the family smile to the camera there, on the right.         

Karaoke was just across the street from the restaurant, and we headed over right after it began.  The Indie on Main only started hosting karaoke about a month ago, but WOW!  What an awesome place to sing!  Aside from the fact that practically every one of the 20-30 bar patrons takes a turn at the mic (leading to a long wait between turns), this is one awesome venue.  Swanky decor, comfy seats, and the music is pumped through speakers onto the street in front, so passers-by can hear each performer loud and clear.  If the purpose of karaoke is to make you feel like a rockstar, this place gets it right.

Has anyone EVER looked this cool sitting in a bar?  I doubt it.

I sang "Who Will Save Your Soul", a duet of "Love Shack" with a stranger (the hubby gets stomach cramps at the mere idea of singing in front of strangers), and "Valentine", which I dedicated to my scaredy-cat hubby in the cheesiest fashion possible.

How could I not dedicate a song to this handsome hunk of a hubby?


As much as I enjoy karaoke, I get really scared right before I go on, and my brain starts to go a hundred miles a minute.  All of a sudden, there is not enough alcohol in the bar to calm my nerves.
 Did I pick the right song?  What if I can't hit the notes now?  I am going to look stupid.  What do I do with my hands?  Should I dance around?  I'm definitely going to look stupid.  Oh God, it's my turn, don't puke don't puke don't puke...

But as soon as I'm up there, I remember that I'm actually a really good singer, and the crowd is always very encouraging.  By the end of the song, I'm generally making ridiculous hand gestures as I prance around doing a dance that is akin to something my three-year old son would do. 

Then by the time I leave the stage, getting high-fives from the crowd as I make my way back to my seat, I'm ready to grab the book and pick out another song so I can do it all over again.

Though it's not the best movie, Duets did a great job at portraying the excitement that is karaoke.  I don't make it out nearly often enough since I have a toddler and all, but every time I do go, I get the bug and want to go all the time.  I had an offer last night to join a band, which I've always wanted to do, but I don't think I could manage band practice/gigs around the hubby's work schedule, since it's so erratic.  Maybe when the kid gets a little older.  Oh well!

So, now that the birthday is over and done, what have I got to look forward to?  I guess Autumn, then our California trip in December are really the next big highlights of my life.  Hopefully things will calm down around here soon and I can get back to a more leisurely life, and a more regular blogging schedule.  I feel like I've been going a million miles a minute, and the first thing that always gets neglected seems to be my blog!  Sorry, but whatareyagonnado, right?

I'm off to hopefully catch a few zzzzzs before the kid wakes up from his nap.  Trying to nap myself is usually a guaranteed way to wake him up, so wish me luck!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Happy birthday, blog!

Exactly one year ago tonight, I logged into Blogger and created Year 31.  For years, I've been of the opinion that age 30 is the epitome of awesome for a woman, and so I was super-duper excited to turn 30 and wanted to do something to commemorate the occasion and document the year, hence the creation of this blog.

I was born on my mom's birthday, if you're wondering why she's blowing out my candles.

Over my 31st year of life, I wrote 107 blog posts (not including this one), got a $2 parking ticket, tried to sell our house for the third time, visited Rhode Island for the first time, had my wisdom teeth pulled, created a blog award, posted a vlog, saved some turtles from certain death, had my dog Daisy put to sleep, escaped The Plague, attempted to take pictures of all my food whilst on vacation, had my gallbladder removed, and attempted (but failed miserably) to hault the Hollywood Hate Parade.  And that's only what I documented!  Rest assured that there was also heartache, conflict, sickness, joy, happiness, laughter, and more that didn't get blogged about. While I did keep it real, I also tried to keep from hurting anyone's feelings or embarrassing myself too badly, and I think I did a pretty great job at keeping that balance.

To be honest, I don't look back on this year as being a banner year in any way, other than being the year that I entered my 30s.  The sense of well-being and attainment of beauty that I was looking forward to did, however, come to pass, and I think those two things alone made this year a great one for me.  In my first blog post I mentioned my (unscientific and unproven) theory that a woman is her most beautiful at the age of 30.  Since then, a study was published in the UK that actually suggests that I was off by a year.  Thirty-ONE, it turns out, is the year to look forward to.  I would like to take this opportunity to gracefully admit my mistake, and concede the point to the aforementioned study.  Therefore, I have an entire year ahead of me in which I will NOW become the most gorgeous, sexiest me I can be.  Woohoo!  Who could ask for a better birthday gift than that?

BRING IT ON, 31!!!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Woohoo Mother Nature!

She must know my birthday's coming up--look at this fabulous forecast!!!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Who loves babies? Not my kid!

I've had an excited feeling in the pit of my stomach for the last couple of days.  I'm not sure if it's actually excitement, or if it's nerves or a psychic feeling that something is going to go wrong.  Since I pride myself on my optimism, I'm going to say that I'm excited/happy/in love. 

Really, the last several days have been some of the best in my marriage to the hubby.  We had it out one night over a few things (you know how issues can sort of build up) and since then we've been blissfully happy, like newlyweds again.  That's all I'll say since I know how annoying it is to listen to someone gloat about their relationship.  :)

My best friend of 25 years, Marlene, just gave birth to her second son, and so on Friday I packed up the kid and drove two hours one-way to visit her in the hospital.  What an adorable baby she had! 

Although we only stayed for about an hour before heading back home, it was completely worth it.  Holding a one-day old baby is so sweet!  The kid didn't enjoy it as much as I did, though he did admit that the newborn was a cute li'l bugger. 

After we left the hospital, I brought him to McDonald's to eat chicken nuggets and expend some energy before strapping him into a seat for two more hours, and we had a talk about the baby thing.  Though I'm pretty intent on him being an only-child, I thought it might be a good idea to find out how he feels about the whole issue.

Me:  So, what did you think about the baby?

The Kid:  He was coot!

Me:  Do you think you'd want a baby to live in our house?

The Kid:  No way!

Me:  Why not?

The Kid:  Because, if a baby live in our house, that will make me saaad.  I don't want a baby to live at my house.  That will make me sad.

Me:  Ok, don't you worry about it.  I won't have another baby.

So, I'm glad that's settled!  

Well, I'm off!  Company tonight for a bbq, Baseball game in a suite on Tuesday night, then my birthday on Wednesday.  The best part is that the heat has finally let up, so it should only be in the mid-80s most of the week--WOOHOO!  Autumn, here we come!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

L is for List.

Where has the time gone?  Has it really been two weeks since my last blog post?  I think this oppressive heat has fried my creative brain cells, or at least he ones responsible for putting together cohesive thoughts.  This calls for a list.

1.  Excessive heat warnings have been in effect for nearly the last two weeks straight.  Heat indexes over 100 have kept me and the kid inside, watching movies, playing with his toys, and playing Super Mario Brothers on the Wii.  I'm headed to the pool this evening for only the second time since my surgery, and I'm hoping to build some of the muscle tone I lost while lying around in recovery.

2.  I'm thinking about trying to get an agent and do some commercial modeling, mostly for extra money.  I'm having a friend take some pictures next week, so we'll see how that goes!  I think it's a good time in my life to take up this sort of thing.  When I was younger, I did a little bit of modeling/acting, but the pressure was always very great to look perfect and be unnaturally (for me) thin.  I'm thinking that now I'm in my 30's, I can be more of a mom-type and so I won't be competing against 20-year olds for jobs.  Hopefully I can make a few bucks!

3.  Some old friends recently came to visit, and I made them fruit pizza!  I almost completely forgot about fruit pizza.  It's unbelievably delicious.  For those of you who don't know about it, here's what it looks like:

And here's how how you make it:

 - Buy a roll of sugar cookie dough.
 - Press it into a pizza pan and bake it until golden.
 - Let it cool.
 - Mix together a brick of cream cheese and a jar of marshmallow fluff.  Spread it on the cookie.
 - Top with whatever fruit you want.

4.  My birthday is a week from today!  Woot!  The plan was for me to jump out of a plane, but finances and healing have moved the party to the much-less-dangerous location of a karaoke bar.  The hubby put it together, and it was going to be a surprise, but since I don't really dig on surprises, I got it out of him.  I sure hope people show up!  If any of you kind readers wish to get me something for my birthday that you know I'll like, go here.  And if any of you know anyone in my family who doesn't read this blog but is planning on getting me a gift, could you please point them there?  I'm not sure how to let them know about the wish list without sounding like I'm begging for gifts. Veeeeeeeery tricky.

5.  Looks like we're going to California in December, and I'm really looking forward to it!  The mother in-law lives in the Sacramento area, and we'll be visiting her with a brief sojourn to San Francisco to see friends.  Planning this trip has made me realize that San Francisco is my ideal climate--it's practically autumn year-round there.  Unfortunately, we would have to make over twice what we make now, as a family, to afford the cost of living increase.  Very sad, indeed.  Oh well.  At least I know that Kansas City won't be falling into the ocean any time soon, unlike some places.

6.  I'm going through some really crappy stuff with family.  Falling-out-type stuff.  It all sucks big time.

7.  I dyed a bikini yesterday, one which I plan on wearing to the pool this evening.  It was white last year, but when I rescued it from the back of my drawer two days ago, it was white with dingy yellow stripes.  Not attractive!  Rather than soak it in bleach until it very nearly disintegrated, I opted to purchase a packet of chocolate-colored RIT dye from Michael's for $2.49 and take my chances.  Here's hoping that I don't end up with a brown cloud surrounding me as soon as I jump in the pool!
The kid has woken up from his nap, so I will wrap up this list.  I'll leave you with a picture I took the other night, after having a (belated) celebratory dinner for our anniversary. 

My artistic eye was keen that night, though my thoughts were cloudy after a 12-oz. martini!
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