Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Just in case...

Tomorrow's the big day, guys!  I'm checking in to the hospital at 7:30 am:  goodbye gallbladder, hello happiness! 

The hubby and I were talking the other night about surgery, and I reminded him that I'm a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate), so if I end up brain dead, I want the plug pulled.  He's one of those people who would have robot parts implanted in him if it meant he could live forever, so it's kind of hard to get him on board when it comes to sending me swiftly to the afterlife.  Also, he's worried that if he pulls the plug on me, my family will hate him forever, so he told me that I ought to write my wishes on my blog so that there is some published proof that he's not a cold-hearted wife killer.  Here you go, hubby! 

Come to think of it, DNR is probably not the right term, because I think that means I don't want CPR or defibrillators used on me, which isn't what I mean.  I just don't want to be a vegetable.  What's the point, really?  Life is for living, not lying in a hospital bed.  If I can't feel love, I don't want to live.  Also, after about a week of being unconscious, I'm pretty sure that I'd be unrecognizable.  My eyebrows would quickly morph into two giant caterpillars crawling perilously close to my eyeballs.  *shudder*

The hubby just told me that since I'd be unconscious I wouldn't know the difference, and he was going to have them freeze my brain so I could wake up 400 years in the future and we'd be living on Saturn and I'd be all, "Damn him!!!"  That was word-for-word.  Sigh.  This is a perfect illustration of why I'm writing this blog post. 

I'd like to also add that if I die, he's going to need a replacement.  I know I complain a lot about him, but I've got a pretty spectacular hubby here, so if you don't hear from me within at least a few weeks, come and get him!*
 Well, what do I have here?  It's a man--and he's looking for YOU!

I don't think I could successfully pass over to the afterlife unless I knew that my kid wasn't motherless...that is just too sad to even contemplate.  I once worked in a daycare with a three year-old boy who had just lost his mother, and it was all I could do not to burst into tears every time I looked at him.  Please don't let my hubby be haunted--step up and help a blogger out!  Just make sure I'm dead first, please.  :)

And with that, I'm off!   Being that my surgery will be performed laparoscopically and is a very routine procedure, I doubt that any of this blog will be relevant but, you know--had to cover my bases.  Wish me luck guys!

*(But only if you are very sweet and funny and love kids and aren't too strict and promise to keep my memory alive)
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...