Saturday, April 24, 2010

Why I am OFFICIALLY old.

Although I think that 30 is a great age, and I'm very much enjoying this year, it has come to my attention that I am no longer a Spring chicken. Practically every day, I am reminded in one way or another that there is a very large generation gap between myself and people in their early to mid-twenties. So, without further adieu, I give you...


THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE AN OLD LADY


1. Wrinkles. I have become acutely aware of a vertical wrinkle between my eyes and some horizontal ones on my forehead. I'm doing my best to avoid making the faces which exacerbate these wrinkles, but I'm pretty sure it's a lost cause.


2. Hipsters. Every time I'm in a public place with teenagers, I find myself shaking my head and saying, "What are they wearing?? Kids these days."


3. Open Casting Calls. I really wanted to enter a casting call to be on Glee, but I was too old. Same with American Idol. Really? Talent has no expiration date, and neither should open casting calls!


4. Reality TV. I happened to turn on a marathon of The Hills today, and I think it actually made me dumber. I'm not saying that I shun all reality TV, because I do watch The Amazing Race, Top Chef, and a few others, but the I try to avoid shows about vapid people doing nothing but arguing, drinking, and shopping, which appears to be its own very popular genre.


5. Teenage relatives. My niece just turned 16, and that means she can drive. She has an amazingly dry wit, ambitions to become a veterinarian, and boobs, yet I feel like she is still a little kid. How could she almost be an adult already? If she's an adult, that means I'm DEFINITELY an adult, a fact which I've only just recently come to accept. I'm sure that one day I'll turn around and my kid will be driving too. The older I get, the faster time flies.


6. Skinny jeans. They cut off my circulation. Ok, well, maybe those make me feel fat--not old.


7. Pop Music. I'll admit it: I have no idea what Justin Bieber sings. I only know his name because the ladies on The View keep talking about him and showing his picture. Ke$ha mystifies me even more--is she actually puking while she sings? Because she sounds like it. Every time I hear Tik Tok, it makes ME gag, so maybe that's what she's going for. And why can't she spell things like a normal person (e.g. "Tick Tock" and "Kesha")?


8. My social life. Sure, I go out and do things with friends sometimes, but I'd usually rather be at home with the hubby and kid, watching a movie.



This is the short list. I'm sure it's incredibly incomplete, but as the hubby is about to be home any minute, I've got to wrap it up so that I can spend a little time with him. I'm gonna go put on my Snuggie now.
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