Monday, March 1, 2010

Romeo the Chihuahua

Well, this has been an interesting day!

On the way out of the house today, I noticed a tiny chihuahua barking at me from my neighbor's yard. Since he wasn't wearing a shock collar I knew he didn't belong to them
(I know, right???), so I knelt down and called him over. He didn't come right away, but was very shy--tip-toeing around the perimeter of my car to meet me only after he could tell I wasn't going to eat him.

Some other neighbors walking by witnessed this whole scenario and let me know that they'd seen that same dog out yesterday and they'd keep him if they could catch him. Once I did actually "catch" him, here's what I observed:

- male
- intact
- brown and tan in color
- most likely pure-bred
- expensive-looking leather collar with bone shaped studs
- long fingernails with remnants of blue nail polish
- skinny, with his ribs showing

Clearly this dog was loved, or possibly over-loved (Nail polish on a dog? Really?) but either way, he had an owner. Nobody would abandon a toy chihuahua without at least taking off his collar.

I let the li'l guy into my house. Vinnie and Daisy nipped at him excitedly as I took some leftover brisket out of the refrigerator for him to eat. Just as I expected: he wolfed it down. Poor thing.

And then, the humping began. As this dog had not been neutered, he had a *ahem* healthy sexual appetite, and his sights were set on Daisy. This dog was probably about a third Daisy's size, but he would not give up, chasing her around the house until he had her cornered on the couch. Vinnie swooped in, in what I thought was an attempt to rescue his sister, but it turned out that he just wanted to hump the chihuahua, proving once again what we have always thought: Vinnie is gay.

In an effort to break up the K-9 orgy (and to preserve my child's innocence), I locked Daisy on the back porch. Unfortunately, the kid had seen it all, and he had questions.


Kid: Why Daisy on back porch?

Me
: Because that chihuahua kept hum--because he wants to marry Daisy.


Kid: He want to marry her?

Me
: Yes. But she doesn't like him. So I have to keep them separate.


Kid:
Aww, that so cute!


Apparently, my kid is quite the romantic, because as I sat down at the computer to make my way through the Craigslist and Petfinder "lost" ads, he opened the porch door and let Daisy out. I tried to keep them separated, but by the third time the kid opened the door I gave up.

I had a chiropractor appointment at 12:30, so I took the dog back outside and left him there, hoping he'd go home. We watched him jump about four feet in the air, looking through the windows on my back door as we backed out of the driveway.

On our way out, I carefully inspected every light post and sidewalk, hoping to see a flyer or a search party, but...nothin'.

About an hour later, we pulled up to the front of the house to get the mail, only to be greeted by a barking brown blur. It's like he decided that he lived here and had begun to stand guard. What the heck?

Since he clearly wasn't going anywhere, I let the poor thing in and pondered my next step. Should I put up fliers? Give him a bath? Go door to door? Call the shelters? My first step was to call the neighbors (well, the ones I knew) and ask if any of them could tell me whose dog this was. Neither of them did.

Then, I took pictures of the cutie. I mean, maybe I would put up fliers, maybe not, but either way I want pictures, damn it!






This dog was very difficult to hold down!

Next logical step was to post pictures of the dog on facebook and brag about being able to spend the afternoon with such adorableness and ask the opinions of my friends. Unfortunately, nobody was online to share in my excitement, so I looked up the number for animal control.

The man on the other end was very nice and told me that nobody had called up or come in looking for a dog that fit this one's description yet, but that they could come and pick up the dog.

Me: Oh, well...can I bring him in? (I have this fear that if animal control comes to my house they will take my dogs too)

Him: Yes, you can do that.

Me: Well, what time do you close?

Him: 4:30.

Me: Well, maybe I'll just wait a little bit longer and see if there's anyone out in my neighborhood looking for him before I bring him in...you guys won't, like, destroy him if nobody picks him up, will you?

Him: No, no, we don't do that here. We will keep him for a few days and then if nobody comes to get him then we'll move him to a shelter where he can be adopted out.

Whew! That was a relief! Why was I even considering finding the owner myself if they can hold him for me? I decided to keep him here a little bit longer, like I said. I headed out to the living room to cuddle the sweet dog when I walked in on him, once again, taking advantage of Daisy. This time, he had her on the ottoman, and there was a mysterious liquid sprinkled around them.

Me: Get on your shoes! We're taking this dog to the pound!

So, that was the end of our day with poor little Romeo. When I got back from surrendering him, one of my facebook friends pointed out that "they just tell you that they won't destroy them, but really they will if they can't find the owner". I would normally believe this guy, because his dad is a veterinarian, but honestly, this dog is not in danger. Even if his family doesn't seek him out (which I doubt), I'm sure he'll be swept up on his first day in the shelter. What pet-seeker could pass up this face?

Sayanora, li'l guy. Have a great life.
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