Monday, December 28, 2009

Just one.

The stomach flu hit me and the hubby yesterday, and as expected, it sucked big time. We were hoping to get out of the house to do some grocery shopping and see a movie, but needless to say that did not happen. The kid was VERY good, however, entertaining himself, and even helping out a little bit. I'm so proud of him.

He's been driving us a little crazy, asking us to play with him and his new toys, but I suppose that's the price we pay for deciding to only have one child. All day long, he guilt-trips us with cries of "Don't you wanna play with me, mom? Don't you wanna play with me?" to which we generally relent because he sounds so darn pitiful.

Case in point:

Do I wanna play with your castle? Of COURSE I do! I'm not made of stone! Poor li'l guy. Of course, if it weren't for us having
only one child, Santa may not have even been able to afford that castle.

People are always saying, "He needs a playmate!", meaning "You need to have another kid!". I get it--I mean, I had two sisters growing up, and we always played together--but I don't really want to have another one. One child is expensive enough, and he does have playmates (neighbors, cousins, etc.) so I don't really think he lacks that interaction. Also, even though I'm sure two would play together well, they would also fight: do I want to be breaking up toddler fights? Not really. My sisters beat up on me when I was a kid, and all I ever wanted was to be an only-child. Maybe that's the reason for my decision?

I have other reasons, too, all of which are valid:

- I'm a worrier. What if I have a second kid and he/she has a birth defect or some terrible disease? We got one healthy, intelligent child, I'm not pressing my luck.

- The world is over-populated as it is. I know that one's a cliche, but it is true. If we want another kid, we'll just adopt one. There are lots of kids out there in need of families.

- We want to travel. Extensively. I know that you can travel with two or three kids, but who really wants to? Plane tickets are expensive, and if we're going to Europe, that's definitely something to consider. Again, the arguing thing comes in here, because although it would be nice for him to have a brother or sister to share the experience with, I'm not keen on breaking up fights the whole trip.

- I hated being pregnant. People aren't supposed to say that, but it's true. Sure, there were good parts, magical parts, but mostly I was just ridiculously uncomfortable, nauseous, and unable to breathe or walk. Why put myself through that again?

- I don't want to take care of another newborn. Don't get me wrong--I love babies, but taking care of them when they are new is the most exhausting thing anyone could ever do. The lack of sleep ALONE is enough reason not to do it again. As my stepmother says, the first year of their life, your major responsibility is just to not let them die, which is harder than you may think if you've never had one. So many things could kill them! I'm not up to that amount of stress again, thank you very much.

- I enjoy giving all my attention to one child, and I don't really want to have to split that attention.

I know there are even more reasons, but I don't feel like sitting here all day, so you get the picture. If it sounds like I'm defending my decision, it's because I am--I have to. Do you know how often another mom asks me when I'm having another one? All the time. I almost feel like it's more socially acceptable to have no kids than it is to have only one. It's like they think I'm a horrible mom because I don't want siblings for him.

I feel like I'm jinxing myself by being so adamant that I will not conceive again.
I want to make it clear--this is not to say that I would not have another baby if I got pregnant accidentally, of course I would. Pregnancy would not be my first choice, that's all. And with that disclaimer, I'm going to clean. :)

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