Saturday, August 29, 2009

Drinks with friends, dampered by racism.

I went out to dinner on Friday night with a couple of good friends. It was a belated birthday gift from one of them, to take me out for Thai food, and I was very thankful for that lovely offer.

The hubby got home around 6:00, and I headed out, all gussied up, to the tune of the kid saying, "Mommy, stay here!". Very difficult, but I soldiered on and headed out to the restaurant.

Again, beautiful weather, so I drove with my widows open, fixing the hairdo that I took down in the car. Too overdone with all the bobby pins and hairspray, so I turned to the wind, which has become my own personal stylist since I cut my hair short a month ago.

Dinner was fabulous. Yellow tofu curry and a lemon drop. Mmmmmmm. What is it about Thai curry that is so superior to other curries? I couldn't say, but if I could make it at home, I would! I once got some Thai curry paste from the Asian market, but my recipe didn't turn out half as good as what I can order at a good restaurant. Oh well.

After dinner was drinks at a local bar where the waitresses show way too much cleavage and dance on the bar. There was a time in my life where I wouldn't think twice about that, and would even maybe consider working there if I could make enough money, but now I just find it degrading. I don't know if it's my age or the fact that I'm a mother now, but I just feel bad for all those girls, being objectified and drooled over.

I only had one beer and a Coke at the bar since I was driving home, but the conversation was great, and it was really nice to go out with friends. One trip to the bathroom, however, put a damper on the whole night. I was walking with my friend to the facilities (we girls pee together, you know) and on the way we both spotted a girl wearing a tube top with a giant tattoo on her back. It was a confederate flag that said "WHITE POWER" across it in giant letters. WTF????

What is wrong with people? Why does someone think it's ok to have a tattoo like that, and on top of that, go into a public place and show it off? There were people of all races there, and I was just waiting for her to start a brawl. In fact, I almost went up to her and kicked her myself. Had I been drinking more, or if the hubby had been present, a fist fight would definitely have ensued.

I don't know if I've mentioned it, but the hubby is half Filipino and I am white, which makes us a mixed-race couple. We really don't run into many problems--in fact I can count on one hand the number of times in our twelve years together that someone has expressed a problem with us as being a couple. It's pretty much a non-issue in our relationship, and friends tell me that they don't even think of him as Asian, though he clearly is when you look at him.

The fact that there are people out there who will hate us, or hate my CHILD because we are not of the same race is deeply disturbing to me. I actually try not to think about it, and when I do, I have a hard time grasping the issue. The hubby likes to watch documentaries on white power groups and finds the whole thing incredibly interesting, but I really would rather avoid seeing or hearing about anything so hateful.

My friends and I sat at that table, expressing our shock and awe about this person waltzing around with something so vile written on her shoulder blades. I watched her do a lap around the bar, making sure to walk slowly past a whole table full of African-Americans, with no result. As we walked out the door on the way to our car, I made a point to ask the woman at the door if they could ask the girl to cover up or leave, and she said she would talk to a manager about it, but I couldn't tell if she was really going to do it or not.

I can tell you that I will not likely go back to that bar. The fact that they allow someone like that in the door to begin with, with such a horrid advertisement of hate on her back, is reason enough for me. It's possible that she got through the bouncers and door girl without them looking at her back, but it is entirely impossible that the waitresses and bartenders didn't notice it. I just don't want to patronize a place that won't stand up for what's right without someone else having to complain about it.

So, the night was a lot of fun, but we left on a very sour note. I'm going to try and make a point of it to go out with just "the girls" on a more regular basis, even though it can be difficult to schedule it in. From now on, though, we're going to make sure and visit more upstanding establishments. :)
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